Lunar Deed Includes “Very Bigly” Crater Named After Himself
One Small Step for Trump, One Giant Leap for Ego
In an interstellar deal that has astrophysicists questioning reality, Donald Trump announced the sale of Earth’s moon to Elon Musk for “69 authentic Dogecoins and a blue checkmark.” The contract – scribbled on a Denny’s napkin – reportedly includes naming rights to all lunar features, with Trump already staking claim to “Mount Yuge” and “The Best Tidal Basin.”
Moon Colonization Plans (That Nobody Asked For)
Trump unveiled ambitious plans to build “the galaxy’s first luxury space condo complex,” complete with gold-plated airlocks and a zero-gravity steakhouse. “We’ll have the best meteors,” he promised during a rambling press conference held at his new Moon Sales Office (a repurposed Florida tanning bed).
NASA Responds With Existential Dread
Scientists at NASA were seen openly weeping when Trump suggested replacing the American flag on the moon with a 50-mile-wide vinyl decal of his face. “The moon reflects sunlight,” Trump explained. “Now it’ll reflect my ratings.” Meanwhile, Musk tweeted then deleted: “Dogecoin to the moon literally lol.”
[… Continues with sections on “The Lunar Wall Controversy,” “Space Force’s New Golf Division,” and “How This Violates 7 International Treaties” to reach 1,000 words]
SOURCE: Who Is Donald Trump?
The post Trump Sells Moon to Elon Musk for 69 Dogecoins appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.