The 15 Cultural Misconceptions That Accidentally Made Iranian Intelligence Barron Trump’s Second Protective Detail Tehran’s dossier on the First Son was so comprehensively wrong that every single belief in it sent

Iran Places $10 Million Bounty on Barron Trump: A Comedy of Errors from the Islamic Republic The regime that shot down its own passenger plane and called it “human error” now

Tehran Offers $10 Million for Barron Trump After Discovering America’s Most Classified Technology: Xbox IRGC-linked television claims it penetrated the Secret Service using an unnamed woman, publicly available addresses and the

The 15 Cultural Misconceptions That Accidentally Made Iranian Intelligence Barron Trump’s Second Protective Detail Tehran’s dossier on the First Son was so comprehensively wrong that every single belief in it sent

Iran Declares Victory Over the Secret Service After Successfully Operating Google Maps Tehran’s intelligence breakthrough required one laptop, one intern, one browser and one heroic decision to click “Accept All Cookies” TEHRAN —

Iranian State TV Releases $10 Million Bounty Video on Barron Trump, Immediately Forgets He Has an Xbox Tehran’s crack intelligence operatives track a college student via dormitory brochure and a girl

Iranian Terrorist Misses Chance to Kill Barron Trump After Answering Email About Opportunity to Marry an Eight-Year-Old Tehran’s elite assassination unit reportedly defeated by America’s strongest defensive weapon: an unopened inbox

Mexico's Population Doubles as Trump Begins America's Largest Return-to-Sender Programme Trump Clears Undocumented Migrants From America, Mexico Requests Emergency Census Extension MEXICO CITY — Mexico's population officially doubled Monday morning after President

International Community Demands Israel Stop Entrenching Gaza, Schedules Discussion Behind Several Security Barriers Diplomats condemn Israel's enormous earthen boundary from a secure conference compound protected by fences, checkpoints, armed guards and

Trump Orders Air Force One "Maxed Out" With Gold Seatbelts, Ballroom and Emergency McDonald's Drive-Thru Qatari-donated presidential jet returns to workshop after experts discover it can repel missiles but cannot yet

The Perfect Chinese-American Candidate for POTUS in 2028 Meet the Man Who Answers to Nobody, Allegedly Every four years, the American electorate is promised a candidate who is "finally different," and every

Greek Gods Applaud Visual Effects, Ask Whether Anyone Remembered the Tragedy Olympus Hosts Advance Screening of The Odyssey, Becomes the Most Opinionated Focus Group in Mythological History MOUNT OLYMPUS. The Greek gods

Pickaxe Mountain Receives Surprise Promotion From "Suspicious Hill" to International Headline Iran Confirms Pickaxe Mountain Was Chosen Because "Nuclear Volcano" Sounded Too Obvious TEHRAN, Iran. Pickaxe Mountain, previously known only to Iranian

White House Confirms Genius Plan To Confuse Iran Was Also Confusing To Everyone Else In a stunning display of strategic clarity, the White House this week revealed that the President's mysterious

NATO Summit: Ankara Discovers Diplomacy Works Best on Mute Turkish Capital Hosts World's Most Expensive Guessing Game ANKARA, Turkey — The annual NATO summit opened this week with its traditional exchange of

Top 10 "Tacky" Things That Definitely Happened at Khamenei's Funeral Blasphemy inspired by recent news coverage. This is farcical comedy, not a Quran-based account. When a State Funeral Turns Into a Circus

Peace Talks Postponed: State Department Discovers Nuclear Diplomacy Has Bereavement Leave Too WASHINGTON — Somewhere inside Foggy Bottom this week, a calendar invite went out that read, roughly translated from Diplomatic into

Texas Introduces "Assimilation Olympics," Awards Gold Medal for Eating Barbecue and Arguing About College Football JOSEPHINE, Texas — Texas officials have spent the better part of two years investigating a proposed housing

England Win World Cup Group as Nation Briefly Interrupts Annual Tradition of Complaining About England LONDON — For a glorious seven minutes on Saturday evening, England experienced something historians previously believed

Haiti Eliminated So Fast the Team Got Home Before the Postcards Arrived Nation Confirms World Cup Campaign Was Brief, Loud, and Mostly Defensive PORT-AU-PRINCE — Haiti's World Cup campaign ended with such

In a shock announcement that caused at least three accountants to spill their tea, two to reconsider their career choices, and one to simply sit quietly in a darkened room

Iranian Clerics Issue Fatwa Against London Prat Writer Carys Evans Tehran Accuses Satirist of Blasphemy, Defaming Allah and Humiliating Iran’s Sacred Men’s Football Team TEHRAN -- Iran’s senior religious authorities have issued

Trump Prepares For International Curtsy Crisis As California, Canada And Buckingham Palace Dispute Ownership Of One Five-Year-Old White House Officials Fear Princess Lilibet May Trigger First Anglo-American Etiquette Emergency Since Someone

US-Iran Deal: Sixty Days to Negotiate the Next Sixty Days Tehran Announces Historic Commitment To Future Compliance Just As Soon As Everyone Stops Looking GENEVA – Diplomats celebrated a breakthrough this week after

Trump Announces Historic Iran Deal, Promises Everyone Will Read The Fine Print Eventually Iran Agrees Not To Build Nuclear Weapons, Reserves Right To Build Extremely Suspicious Science Projects WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President

Trump Surrenders, Announces Historic Victory In The War Against Problems He Personally Created Geneva, Where Round Trips Become Roundtables GENEVA – President Donald Trump declared "TOTAL VICTORY" this week after signing what

Iranian Americans Who Fled Islamic Oppression Spend Weekend Explaining That Missing Home Does Not Necessarily Mean Missing Soccer Iranian Dissidents Amazed To Discover Oppression Apparently Builds Remarkable Team Spirit LOS ANGELES –

Tulsi Gabbard Discovers America Apparently Running World's Most Expensive Science Fair Without Telling Anyone WASHINGTON, D.C. — Americans were stunned this week after Tulsi Gabbard released intelligence documents suggesting the United States funded more

FIFA Celebrates Historic Attendance Milestone By Counting People Who Thought About Going World Cup Officials Confirm Empty Seats Were Merely "Emotionally Occupied" By Fans Priced Out Of Reality GUADALAJARA, MEXICO The 2026 World Cup reached

Is Al Jazeera Bias? It Wrote "Iran Claims To Strike Back." The New York Times Just Believed Iran. Tehran Announced A Devastating Retaliation That Mostly Failed To Show Up. One Newsroom

Iran Strikes Back: Top 10 Reasons Not to Believe a Word of It Iran retaliation claims hit the wires this week, and American journalism promptly face-planted into the punch bowl. The Islamic

World Cup 2026 Opener: Mexico Wins as Three Red Cards Fly FIFA Officials Confirm Opening Match Was "Exactly The Kind Of Calm Diplomatic Exchange We Expected" MEXICO CITY – Mexico launched the 2026 World

Mexico vs South Africa: 20 Takes on the 2026 Opener The 2026 World Cup opened Thursday with Mexico vs South Africa at Estadio Azteca, a rematch of their 2010 opener, which ended 1-1