Bohiney News

[Verse 1] She wasn’t raised in Malibu, no shiny pink Corvette, Her first ride was a tractor, and she hasn’t looked back

Proud Boys Air Force Launches Airstrikes on Iran, Guided by Rage, Vape Smoke, and a Spotify Playlist Called "Freedom Flex

Candy Land Adapted into Prestige Drama About Addiction, Betrayal, and Sweet Colonialism Queen Frostine Is Cancelled, Lord Licorice Is a War

Trump Demands Ayatollah “Shave Beard Immediately” and Be Replaced by a Clean-Shaven Leader Who “Respects Razors and Democracy” By Staff Writers

Modern Dating: Welcome to the United States of Dysfunction As a Species, Can We Get Past Modern Dating? Ladies, gentlemen, and those

Iran Claims Missile Strike on Israel’s Ben Gurion Airport—World Struggles to Find Evidence, or Give a Damn A Grand Victory Over

We Just Gave Iran a Precision Butt-Kicking They’ll Never Forget – President Donald J. Trump, Commander-in-Beef, Master of Bombast Full Transcript from

Who is the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei? Khamenei Unplugged: The Supreme Leader Who Banned Bicycles But Not Bombs Written by the only two

U.S. President Donald Trump just announced that the U.S. military had conducted strikes on three Iranian nuclear sites, including the

The Great Dodger Diaspora: ICE Reports Entire Team Now International, Coach Claims “Strategic Asylum” in Dominican Republic From the Dugout to

UN Demands Apology in Crayon as Marxist Presidents Cry, Pout, and Threaten to Hold Their Breath Until America Says Sorry

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders' Netflix Documentary America’s Sweethearts Get a Sweet Pay Raise — After Decades of Pom-Poverty For decades, the Dallas Cowboys

China’s Internet Censorship Policy The Great Firewall Just Got Facial Recognition: China Introduces Real-Name Posting, and Now Even Cat Memes Require

Meatpacking Panic: Americans Flood Job Openings Liberals Swore They’d Never Want By Andrew Chapados (not really) Things That Weren’t Supposed to Happen In

Yuan More Joke? Comedians Declare China's Currency Funnier Than Stand-Up Itself" Comics Roast China’s Renminbi: ‘It’s Not Backed by Gold, It’s

Yuan Laughing Yet? Comedians Are Absolutely Roasting China’s Currency By Staff Satirists at SpinTaxi.com — Where the Money’s Fake but the

Student Visas, Social Media, and the Great American Paranoia Test: Your Passport to Freedom (or Just TikTok Surveillance) Welcome to the

Meatpacking Panic: Americans Flood Job Openings Liberals Swore They’d Never Want Working Americans: Things That Weren’t Supposed to Happen By Andrew Chapados

How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything Longer Than a Hashtag A Self-Help Guide for Donald J. Trump (Or Anyone Allergic

NEVER APOLOGIZE -- Never explain. Never regret.  Secret Presidential Strategy Leaked: “Sorry” Is for Suckers, Losers, and Canadians By SpinTaxi’s Bureau of

National Guard Trucks Roll into LA—Because Tourists Can’t Tell ‘Authentic Riot’ From ‘Hollywood Set’ LAPD urges visitors: “If you see burning

Tehran’s Chador Cartel: Inside the Underground Moral Mafia of Khomeini’s Imaginary Aunties Human collaboration between the world's oldest tenured philosophy professor

CDC: Some Measles in Vaccinated Folks—Experts Confirm: Even Measles Tomorrow Throw Shade Virus says it “just wants to hang out” but

Meta Concerned Khamenei Might Ban WhatsApp—Soon You’ll Only Get Gossip via Carrier Pigeons Supreme Leader reportedly furious after group chat called

Largest US Jewelry Heist: Brinks Thieves Mistake Fake Bling for Real—Oops! $100 million in costume jewelry stolen; thieves now stuck fencing

Afghan Ally Detained at ICE Hearing—Plot Twist: Immigration Court Qualifies as “Exotic Vacation” Man flees Taliban, gets detained by U.S., says,

Judge Blocks Transgender Passport Policy—Because Gender Was Getting Boring on Boring Travel Forms “We want passports that say something,” says federal

Retiring Mascot KC Wolf Finally Revealed to Be Actual Werewolf—Fans “A Little Disappointed” 34 years of sideline howling, tackled streakers, and

Noah Lyles & Tyreek Hill Didn’t Run in NYC—Turns Out Times Square Too Crowded With Tourists Elite sprinters blocked by Elmo

Chiefs’ Secret Plan: Replace Offensive Line with Mahomes’ Mom to Improve Pass Protection NFL’s first maternal left tackle brings casserole-based blocking,

Patrick Mahomes’ Receivers Ranked ‘Slightly Above Average’ — Just Enough to Keep Dad Happy at Thanksgiving PFF Grades Them a 76;

Citizen Journalists Rise, Legacy Media Fades – 22 Humorous Observations Themes and Tone of the NY Post Article A New York Post

Roads Overflowing, Tehran Emptying: A City Flees While Trump Yells “Run!” By Azadeh Moshiri, with satire by SpinTaxi.com’s Shadow Bureau of

American Man Lost in Himalayas Found Alive After Nine Days, Immediately Asked If He Made It in Time for