Tony Romo Signs $180 Million CBS Deal, Executives Discover Resentment Is Also Fully Guaranteed CBS Pays Tony Romo $180 Million to Predict Football Plays, Fails to Predict How Much It Would

Zendaya Marries Minuscule Tom Holland, Wedding Guests Asked Not to Accidentally Put Groom in Coat Check Hollywood's most vertically diversified marriage debuts matching wedding bands as scientists confirm Spider-Man remains visible

Zendaya Marries Tom Holland at 400-Acre Estate After Wedding Planner Determines Regular Hotel Might Make Groom Too Easy to Find Secret Surrey celebration requires five-star manor, private cinema, golf course and

Martha Stewart Burns Meghan Markle's Lifestyle Show, Fire Brigade Finds Only Artisanal Candles With Love, Meghan teaches ordinary viewers how to prepare a simple family breakfast using fresh flowers, imported cookware

CBS Places Tony Romo on Moral Leave After Accountants Discover $72 Million in Remaining Principles Company Finds Enormous Reserve of Untapped Integrity Hidden Inside Broadcasting Contract Tony Romo remains on leave from

Hollywood Discovers Temporal Hollowing, Immediately Gives Its Temples Their Own Publicist GLP-1 Weight Loss Creates New Red-Carpet Crisis as Celebrities Discover Even Their Foreheads Are Expected to Maintain Volume LOS ANGELES Hollywood's Latest

Mia Ventura's Influencer Empire Goes Offline After Ankle Monitor Apparently Does First Los Angeles model accused of turning dating apps into luxury-home reconnaissance network discovers judges rarely smash the "like" button LOS

Greek Gods Applaud Visual Effects, Ask Whether Anyone Remembered the Tragedy Olympus Hosts Advance Screening of The Odyssey, Becomes the Most Opinionated Focus Group in Mythological History MOUNT OLYMPUS. The Greek gods

Film Critics Finally Complete the Hero's Journey From Watching a Movie to Watching Themselves Film critics have greeted Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey with the sort of restraint normally associated with ancient Greek prophets

Top 10 Things That Actually Happened at Travis Kelce's Bachelor Party (Allegedly, Probably, Sort Of) Following reports that Travis Kelce's bachelor party was suspiciously well-behaved, our crack team of unreliable investigative

Travis Kelce's Bachelor Party Declared National Emergency After Nobody Wakes Up Married to a Pirate Dave Chappelle reportedly confessed he had never witnessed such an astonishing bachelor party. Not because it

Media Declares Taylor Swift Wedding the Most Important Event Since Oxygen Was Invented The biggest punchline is not the wedding. It's the coverage. For one weekend, entertainment media collectively decided that two

Taylor Swift's Wedding Left Guests Wondering Why They Were Invited — Source By now you've heard the reports: celebrity outlets describe a wedding so exclusive that even the guests seemed a little confused

Worst Wedding EVER!!! Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Turn Madison Square Garden Into a Tacky $20 Million Fever Dream New York City briefly lost power to several city blocks on Thursday

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Photographed Walking, Nation's Productivity Collapses Another 12 Percent Experts Confirm America Has Officially Replaced the Bald Eagle With Celebrity Couple Photos The first new public photos of

Reality TV Discovers That "Mormon" Apparently Means Whatever Gets Better Ratings Layla Taylor's latest plot twist leaves theologians searching for the remote while Hollywood searches for Season 5. The producers of The Secret

Wedding Etiquette Experts Discover Americans Will Debate Literally Anything: The "No Gifts" Crisis of Our Time Nation Spends Three Days Arguing Whether Ignoring a Bride's Wishes Is the Height of Good

Iranian Clerics Issue Fatwa Against London Prat Writer Carys Evans Tehran Accuses Satirist of Blasphemy, Defaming Allah and Humiliating Iran’s Sacred Men’s Football Team TEHRAN -- Iran’s senior religious authorities have issued

WATCH HILL, RHODE ISLAND — A white party tent has appeared near Taylor Swift's seaside estate, and the implications for American civilization are staggering. Security has been enhanced. Folding chairs have

Taylor Swift's Sin: Getting Rich Without a Government Grant Woman Enjoys Basketball Game, Nation Demands Congressional Investigation NEW YORK — America is once again confronting one of its most pressing social crises: a

Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce Reveal Their Relationship Secret Is “Mutual Respect,” Plunging Celebrity Media Into Total Collapse Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have apparently revealed the “real reason” their relationship

Taylor Swift MSG Wedding: NYC's Newest Infrastructure Project NEW YORK – Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's decision to rent out Madison Square Garden for their rumored wedding has finally answered a question

Puppet Master Suspected After Sixth Musician Accidentally Uses Same Excuse Federal Investigators Discover Nation's Musicians All Suddenly Developed Identical Vocabulary — And Possibly the Same Publicist, Therapist, and Astrological Chart WASHINGTON, D.C. —

Study Finds Country Music Career Much Harder When Country Fans Actually Notice You Martina McBride Discovers America Elected Donald Trump, Immediately Calls Her Agent NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE — A groundbreaking new study from

Trump's Name Removed From Kennedy Center, Building Immediately Loses 73% Of Cable News Coverage WASHINGTON — In what historians are already calling the fastest collapse of relevance since a souffle meets

Americans Now Need Three Streaming Services and a Sherpa to Watch One Football Game Football Fans Enter Another Season of Broadcast Confusion as the NFL Hides Games Across Platforms Like a

Lauren Sánchez Can't Dance And The Internet Will Never, Ever Let Her Forget It Lauren Sánchez's Met Gala Dancing Video Backlash: A Nation Processes Its Feelings Through Memes Five humorous observations immediately

Marilyn Monroe's Former Home Becomes First Los Angeles Property With More Lawyers Than Bedrooms Brentwood Preservation Fight Leaves Neighbors Unsure Whether They Live Beside a Historic Landmark or an Extremely Expensive

ABC Sues FCC for Silencing "The View," Nation Wonders If There's a Counter-Suit Option First Amendment Battle Over Morning Talk Show Produces the Legal Brief No One at Harvard Law Was

Morons on Parade: The 2026 Met Gala Hits Peak "Fashion Is Art (Please Don't Ask Questions)" Five Quick Observations Before the Glitter Settles Somewhere between "avant-garde" and "did a chandelier explode," fashion

Public Art or Public Menace? The Great Spray-Paint Panic That Has Civilization Checking Its Walls Five Quick Observations Before We Grab the Spray Can People fear Banksy like he's a ninja with a stencil

America's Favorite Foreign Reality Show Has Been Running Since 1969 and Nobody Greenlit It Buckingham Palace Accidentally Invented the Genre Before E! Was Even a Network WASHINGTON — Long before Ryan Seacrest

Hollywood Freezes, But the Drama Stays Room Temperature: Harry & Meghan's Very Polite Frostbite Five Observations Before the Ice Machine Kicks In Hollywood only "freezes people out" after first offering them