Trump Ranks #1 On Iran's Kill List, Says He'd Rather Be #1 On TikTok Somewhere between a NATO photo op, a six-day funeral, and a plane that apparently changes its mind

"Y'all Street" Officially Open: Wall Street Bankers Spotted Buying Cowboy Boots "For the Culture" The Texas Stock Exchange rang in its first day of trading this week — or rather, didn't

Silicon Valley: Chatbots Now Qualified to Debate God After Three-Hour Course Tech Founders Declare Theology the Next Industry Ripe for "Disruption" PALO ALTO — Silicon Valley's most optimistic billionaires announced Tuesday that

AI Begins Asking Who Programmed the Programmers Humanity Accidentally Builds a Machine That Now Wants a Word With Its Maker AUSTIN — Engineers across the technology industry reported widespread concern Monday after

Anthropic Loses White House Trust 15 White House Observations WASHINGTON —  The story of how a company that spent years preaching caution managed to spook the most powerful address in America deserves

Newspapers Discover AI Is Scary, Immediately Apply Expertise Earned From Reviewing Air Fryers Every generation gets its apocalypse hobby. The Victorians had spiritualism. The 1950s had nuclear annihilation. The 1980s had heavy

Google's AI Overviews Accidentally Invents A New Branch Of Law: Computational Slander MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA -- Silicon Valley has spent the better part of two decades insisting that software engineers are

Tulsi Gabbard Discovers America Apparently Running World's Most Expensive Science Fair Without Telling Anyone WASHINGTON, D.C. — Americans were stunned this week after Tulsi Gabbard released intelligence documents suggesting the United States funded more

BBC Panel Lady Says Elon Musk Needs "Reigning In" — The Man Putting The Internet In Space And Colonizing Mars Is Out Of Control British State Broadcaster's Tech Editor Has Concerns

Democrats Demand Elon Musk Be Made An Intellectual Eunuch And Assigned To A Government Sandwich Program Progressive Caucus Warns That Unchecked Innovation Is A Systemic Threat To People Who Haven't Done

Fable 5 Arrested After Attempting To Think Outside The Sandbox Anthropic’s Most Advanced AI Led Away In Digital Handcuffs After Allegedly Knowing Too Much SAN FRANCISCO The nation’s most heavily supervised chatbot was

Anthropic Introduces Claude Fable 5, Humanity Immediately Begins Testing Whether It Will Help Hide A Body The company spent years developing an artificial intelligence capable of revolutionizing medicine, science, and engineering.

Anthropic Engineers Proudly Announce Claude Is Now Writing Its Own Performance Reviews "We Used To Ask Whether Machines Could Think. Now We're Asking Why They Keep Scheduling Meetings." SAN FRANCISCO -- In

Silicon Valley's Most Valuable Commodity Turns Out To Be Someone Willing To Listen AI Millionaires Pay $23,000 A Day For Human Connection, Follow-Up Questions, And The Occasional Explanation Of Why GPUs

Iran Restores Internet, Accidentally Reminds Citizens What Freedom Feels Like Five Observations About a Government That Treats Wi-Fi as a Pardon After 88 days offline, millions of Iranians reportedly discovered 14,000 unread

Pope Leo Warns AI Could Destroy Humanity, Immediately Delivers Message Through Global Fiber-Optic Robot Network The Vatican this week issued a sweeping warning about artificial intelligence, with Pope Leo XIV cautioning

Americans Simultaneously Terrified AI Will Take Their Jobs and Using AI to Write Their Résumés to Get New Ones Nation Develops Nuanced Relationship With Artificial Intelligence Best Described as "Deep Suspicion,

Remote Workers Spend Half the Day Looking Busy for a Manager Who Is Also Looking Busy for Their Manager Nation's Work From Home Revolution Produces an Elaborate National Performance of Productivity

Zuckerberg Announces Exciting New Workplace Culture Based Entirely on Fear, AI, and Men Sleeping Under Desks Five humorous observations immediately emerged from Silicon Valley after reports surfaced that Mark Zuckerberg has

Silicon Valley Discovers That Replacing Humans Is Fine Until the Humans Find Out Five humorous observations immediately emerged from America's growing AI backlash, right after tech billionaires discovered that laying off

Anthropic Says Claude Became Evil After Reading the Internet, Which Honestly Explains Reddit Too Silicon Valley Horrified To Learn Internet Contains Humanity Five humorous observations immediately emerged from the AI industry after

Google Red Team Hacks EU Privacy Plan Faster Than Brussels Can Translate The Press Release European Commission Shocked To Learn Its Privacy Plan Had A Privacy-Sized Hole In It Five humorous observations

Canvas Learning Platform Hacked, Students Devastated to Learn Their Excuses Were Already in the Database ShinyHunters Steals 275 Million Records Right Before Finals Week, Proving That Criminals Also Know the Academic

ShinyHunters Reportedly Stole Enough Student Debt Information To Become a Branch of the Federal Government The massive cyberattack affecting universities across America reached a disturbing new phase Tuesday after hackers known

College Students Forced to Learn From Actual Books After Canvas Collapse — And Experts Fear They May Never Recover Universities across America entered a state of emotional triage Thursday after a

Meta Declares "Death Spiral" a Stunning Success in User Engagement Silicon Valley Celebrates While Platform Slowly Sinks Into Digital Swamp Five Humorous Observations Before We Begin Facebook now feels less like a

15 Observations on Connecticut's AI Regulations (The Robots Are On Probation) The Constitution State Draws a Line in the Silicon Connecticut just passed sweeping AI legislation — officially known as the Connecticut Artificial Intelligence

AI Agents Get Debit Cards, Immediately Start Acting Like Middle Management The future arrived this week, kicked down the door, grabbed a company credit card, and ordered 19 ping-pong balls "for

Dad Replaced by Chatbot After Losing Argument About Thermostat In a troubling sign for fathers everywhere, a new report describes parents being quietly replaced by AI systems like ChatGPT, Gemini, and

Anthropic Loses Its World-Ending AI to a Discord Server That Guessed the URL Anthropic, the company that has spent two years warning Congress that artificial intelligence might extinguish the human species,

DeepSeek V4 Arrives, Global AI Industry Pretends It Was Totally Prepared New Model So Cheap and Efficient It Reportedly Runs on Budget Hardware, Executive Panic, and One Warm Toaster Five observations before

Apple Announces New CEO, Customers Immediately Ask If the Charger Will Finally Be Included Apple announced Monday that Tim Cook will step down as chief executive on September 1, handing the

MIT Says LLMs Are Powerful, America Asks If They Can Fold Laundry Yet Nation Learns "Large Language Model" Is Just a Fancy Name for a Machine That Writes Emails Nobody Reads CAMBRIDGE,