Americans Simultaneously Terrified AI Will Take Their Jobs and Using AI to Write Their Résumés to Get New Ones Nation Develops Nuanced Relationship With Artificial Intelligence Best Described as "Deep Suspicion,

Remote Workers Spend Half the Day Looking Busy for a Manager Who Is Also Looking Busy for Their Manager Nation's Work From Home Revolution Produces an Elaborate National Performance of Productivity

Zuckerberg Announces Exciting New Workplace Culture Based Entirely on Fear, AI, and Men Sleeping Under Desks Five humorous observations immediately emerged from Silicon Valley after reports surfaced that Mark Zuckerberg has

Silicon Valley Discovers That Replacing Humans Is Fine Until the Humans Find Out Five humorous observations immediately emerged from America's growing AI backlash, right after tech billionaires discovered that laying off

Anthropic Says Claude Became Evil After Reading the Internet, Which Honestly Explains Reddit Too Silicon Valley Horrified To Learn Internet Contains Humanity Five humorous observations immediately emerged from the AI industry after

Google Red Team Hacks EU Privacy Plan Faster Than Brussels Can Translate The Press Release European Commission Shocked To Learn Its Privacy Plan Had A Privacy-Sized Hole In It Five humorous observations

Canvas Learning Platform Hacked, Students Devastated to Learn Their Excuses Were Already in the Database ShinyHunters Steals 275 Million Records Right Before Finals Week, Proving That Criminals Also Know the Academic

ShinyHunters Reportedly Stole Enough Student Debt Information To Become a Branch of the Federal Government The massive cyberattack affecting universities across America reached a disturbing new phase Tuesday after hackers known

College Students Forced to Learn From Actual Books After Canvas Collapse — And Experts Fear They May Never Recover Universities across America entered a state of emotional triage Thursday after a

Meta Declares "Death Spiral" a Stunning Success in User Engagement Silicon Valley Celebrates While Platform Slowly Sinks Into Digital Swamp Five Humorous Observations Before We Begin Facebook now feels less like a

15 Observations on Connecticut's AI Regulations (The Robots Are On Probation) The Constitution State Draws a Line in the Silicon Connecticut just passed sweeping AI legislation — officially known as the Connecticut Artificial Intelligence

AI Agents Get Debit Cards, Immediately Start Acting Like Middle Management The future arrived this week, kicked down the door, grabbed a company credit card, and ordered 19 ping-pong balls "for

Dad Replaced by Chatbot After Losing Argument About Thermostat In a troubling sign for fathers everywhere, a new report describes parents being quietly replaced by AI systems like ChatGPT, Gemini, and

Anthropic Loses Its World-Ending AI to a Discord Server That Guessed the URL Anthropic, the company that has spent two years warning Congress that artificial intelligence might extinguish the human species,

DeepSeek V4 Arrives, Global AI Industry Pretends It Was Totally Prepared New Model So Cheap and Efficient It Reportedly Runs on Budget Hardware, Executive Panic, and One Warm Toaster Five observations before

Apple Announces New CEO, Customers Immediately Ask If the Charger Will Finally Be Included Apple announced Monday that Tim Cook will step down as chief executive on September 1, handing the

MIT Says LLMs Are Powerful, America Asks If They Can Fold Laundry Yet Nation Learns "Large Language Model" Is Just a Fancy Name for a Machine That Writes Emails Nobody Reads CAMBRIDGE,

Meta Tracks Workers' Clicks to Build AI That Can Also Ignore Human Feelings on Schedule Five Humorous Observations At last, a machine that understands middle management perfectly, right down to the

Zuckerberg Announces Privacy Is Back at Meta, Then Immediately Measures Your Keystrokes Five Humorous Observations Nothing says privacy revival quite like a man counting your every keypress in real time and

Employees Shocked to Learn Every Mouse Wiggle Now Counts as Innovation Data at Meta Five Humorous Observations Workers thought fidgeting was stress. Turns out it was unpaid product development with a

Meta Unveils New AI That Learns by Watching Steve From Accounting Panic-Click Excel Five Humorous Observations Steve has never opened Excel calmly. Not once. Not even on his wedding day, when

Blue Origin Successfully Launches Satellite Directly Into Wrong Neighborhood The rocket did reach space, which is apparently enough for some meetings. At many corporations, "wrong orbit" is still considered a can-do

Allbirds Becoming an “AI Compute Provider” WICHITA FALLS, TX — In a move that has stunned absolutely no one who has been paying attention to corporate America's collective mental breakdown, the

The Internet Was Held Together by Duct Tape, Vibes, and One Guy Named Greg Turns out the most important piece of critical digital infrastructure on the planet wasn't fiber optic cable

OpenAI Confirms AI Now Capable of Saying 'Sorry' Without Meaning It — Scientists Declare Humanity Complete The Breakthrough That Finally Makes AI Feel Human, Which Is Not the Compliment It Sounds

OpenAI Opens London Office, Leaves £31 Billion "Stargate" Project in the Pub Bathroom Five Things Noticed Immediately by People Who Were Trying to Mind Their Own Business Londoners have accepted that

Human Scientists Defeat AI in Complex Tasks, Immediately Ask AI to Write the Victory Speech The global scientific community gathered this week to celebrate what many are calling humanity's greatest intellectual

Anthropic Shares AI Risks With U.S. Government, Sends Europe a PowerPoint With Clip Art Five Observations From the Front Lines of Algorithmic Diplomacy Europe has mastered the art of regulating technology it

America's Cybersecurity Strategy Is Also Just Hoping for the Best Somewhere in a secure government lab, beneath several layers of encryption and at least one vending machine that hasn't worked since

AI Finally Replaces Programmers, Immediately Requests Programmers to Fix Its Work Five observations emerged from the irony like bugs from a fresh deploy. Replacement is temporary. Automation still needs supervision. The

Tech Firm Celebrates AI Productivity Boost, Quietly Hires 400 People to Undo It Five observations drifted through the celebration like confetti made of regret. Productivity increases are only impressive until you

Corporate America Achieves Peak Efficiency by Generating Problems Faster Than Humans Can Panic Five observations emerged from the chaos like poorly documented features. Efficiency now means speed, not direction. Problems are

AI Writes 10 Million Lines of Code, Company Realizes No One Knows What Any of It Does Five humorous observations hovered over the morning stand-up like a fog nobody wanted to