Employee Told a Personal Life Is Fine If It Never Requires Her Presence CHICAGO - A newly hired office worker set off a corporate emergency this week by asking whether she

California's political parties discover that the difference between election security and election fraud depends largely on which argument is winning. SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA | California Republicans have seized upon reports of missing

Forty filings make a record, and a record is a press release. The verdicts are a different department. WASHINGTON - Forty cases. Largest denaturalization effort in modern history. Modern history, in

Americans Who Vowed to Buy Electric Cars Every Time Gas Hits $4 Still Haven't Bought Electric Cars Nation Cycles Through Gas Price Outrage, Righteous EV Research, and Eventual Return to the

Ted Cruz Attempts to Give College Sports National Rules, Discovers Senate Has Entered Overtime Republicans Demand Assurance NCAA Will Not Accidentally Receive a Backbone Transplant WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sen. Ted Cruz is

Martha Stewart Burns Meghan Markle's Lifestyle Show, Fire Brigade Finds Only Artisanal Candles With Love, Meghan teaches ordinary viewers how to prepare a simple family breakfast using fresh flowers, imported cookware

DSA Wants Government to Own Large Corporations After Seeing How Beautifully It Runs the DMV Amazon Delivery Window Expanded to the Next Appropriations Cycle The Democratic Socialists of America support bringing major corporations into

Platner Asks Whether Losing Counts as Winning If You Complain Loudly Enough Maine Candidate Discovers That If Reality Won't Cooperate, It's Clearly Having a Political Agenda AUGUSTA, Maine. Political analysts confirm that

Becerra Surges After Voters Mistake Him For Responsible Adult Poll Shows Californians Increasingly Interested In Candidate Who Appears Capable Of Completing Basic Household Tasks SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — In a shocking development that

Top Ten Bible Verses Misinterpreted by Democrats According to Experts Who Definitely Read at Least Half of Leviticus By The Wit and Wisdom Desk of Bohiney.com - Certified 127% Funnier than The

Small Town. Big God. Nobody Leaves Without Buying a Pie. Five Humorous Observations In most American towns, the church bake sale is about fellowship. In this town, it looked more like

America's HOAs Have Become Shadow Governments With Better Enforcement Records Than Most Countries Nation's Homeowners Discover They Don't Own Their Homes So Much as Rent Them From a Volunteer Committee That

Google Red Team Hacks EU Privacy Plan Faster Than Brussels Can Translate The Press Release European Commission Shocked To Learn Its Privacy Plan Had A Privacy-Sized Hole In It Five humorous observations

Fed Delays Rate Cuts Again, Promises to Pivot "Right After the Next Meeting, We Swear This Time" Bank of America Now Projects Relief in the Second Half of 2027, Which Is

Meta Declares "Death Spiral" a Stunning Success in User Engagement Silicon Valley Celebrates While Platform Slowly Sinks Into Digital Swamp Five Humorous Observations Before We Begin Facebook now feels less like a

African Proverb Meets Current Events: "Even the Lion Protects Himself Against…" The proverb usually means this: even the strongest creature handles small threats before they become giant headaches. A lion is

California Declares ICE Raids Unfair Because They Interrupt Brunch Reservations Five quick observations before the sirens start: California politicians love federal money the way cats love tuna, but hate federal agents

Britain Politely Notes That America's Biggest Warship Has Been Missing for Eleven Months and the Pentagon Is Handing Out Trophies "The Americans have been at sea for eleven months with broken

Military Analysts Confidently Explain Events That Were Completely Different 12 Minutes Ago Panel of Experts Achieves Record: Seven Authoritative Assessments of Four Different Situations in One Hour NEW YORK — Cable news

Mamdani Unites NYC by Annoying Literally Everyone at the Same Time Far-Left Council Members Demand Safe Space From Their Own Mayor — And File the Paperwork in Triplicate NEW YORK CITY —

Newsom Tries Out for Commander in Quip The Governor of California Has Discovered That "Roasting the President" Is Not, Technically, a Foreign Policy Gavin Newsom looked at Donald Trump's claim that the

Planning a Vacation to the Middle East? Experts Recommend Travel Insurance and Light Body Armor Before you pack sunscreen and sandals, aviation authorities would like to remind you that the sky is currently

🚌 Teen News: School Closed, Adults Arguing, Everyone Hungry A totally serious report about the ancient sport of Contract Negotiations San Francisco students woke up this week to the greatest message in

Breaking: Bengali Is Google's First Language, English Is Third, and Hindi Is Second–Unless ICE Shows Up English speakers everywhere just clicked "auto-translate" again In a recent resurfaced interview, Google CEO Sundar Pichai revealed

Woman Takes "No Human Is Illegal" Literally, Attempts Enforcement-Free Zone With Her Car Federal investigators are continuing to review an ICE-related shooting in Minneapolis after authorities say a woman allegedly attempted to run

Background: Why Everyone Is Calmly Screaming Into the Void For readers mercifully busy enough to miss the latest episode of Great Power Theater, a quick refresher. China considers Taiwan a breakaway province. Taiwan