Trump Debuts "Digital Divinity Strategy," Leaves Vatican Scrambling for Wi-Fi Published April 13, 2026 — Orthodox Easter Sunday. Timing is everything. In what insiders are calling the boldest rebrand since water became

Trump vs. Pope Leo XIV: Blessed Are the… Tactical Peacemakers 🙏🥊 Beatitudes… but with elbows. Let's set the stage like a Sunday sermon that accidentally wandered into a cage fight. There is a

Trump Administration Faces Tough Choice Between 'Long Negotiation' and 'Even Longer Headache' In what insiders are calling "the world's most exhausting fork in the road," the Trump administration is reportedly weighing

Put Me In, Coach: America Sends JD Vance Into Game 7 of Diplomacy There are moments in history when a nation looks at its bench, scans the roster, and says, "You

MAGA Celebrates Trump's "Victory" Over Iran With Tasteful, Family-Friendly Roman Orgy A modest gathering featuring togas, cold cuts, and constitutional confusion — where the empire strikes back at facts Five Things Observed

Democrats Discover Just How Stupid the American People Are — They're Clueless About the 25th Amendment Somewhere deep in Washington, D.C., a group of lawmakers reportedly Googled "How to remove a

America Recalls Every History Book Ever Printed After NYT Discovers Winning Wars Is Illegal Six Breaking Observations from the Bureau of Retroactive Justice, Subcommittee on Things That Already Happened The Pentagon

Mamdani Unites NYC by Annoying Literally Everyone at the Same Time Far-Left Council Members Demand Safe Space From Their Own Mayor — And File the Paperwork in Triplicate NEW YORK CITY —

In the long and storied history of military embarrassments, nations have managed to lose wars, lose face, and lose their car keys simultaneously. But Iran has achieved something truly extraordinary

The world woke up today to a shocking development: competence. Trump wins AGAIN... Democrats are furious. Yes, in a twist that has left professional outrage merchants clutching their reusable protest signs

Trump, NATO, and the Art of Saying "Thank You" 🇺🇸 Some presidents give speeches. Some presidents give warnings. And then there's Donald Trump, who gives what historians will someday call "a strongly

Democrats Discover "Average Guy," Immediately Begin Intensive Study Like It's a Rare Amazon Frog Somewhere in a dimly lit D.C. strategy room, surrounded by whiteboards, oat milk lattes, and a guy

America Discovers the 25th Amendment Is Not Yelp for Presidents Is Anish Vij a Moron? Why are reporters SO stupid? Somewhere between a viral headline and a political group chat meltdown, a certain

Trump Creates World's First War Zone Insurance Company, Sends Strongly Worded Truth Social Post to Protect Global Oil Supply By the world's oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy

📰 THE DAILY QUESTIONER "We Asked the Questions Everyone Is Thinking, and Immediately Got Uninvited to Three Dinner Parties" The war rolls on. The headlines pile up. And somewhere between the breaking

Newsom Tries Out for Commander in Quip The Governor of California Has Discovered That "Roasting the President" Is Not, Technically, a Foreign Policy Gavin Newsom looked at Donald Trump's claim that the

Bezos, Trump, and the $40 Million Friendship Nobody Asked For Amazon now delivers packages, cloud computing, and bipartisan kowtowing — Prime members get early access SEATTLE — Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon,

Congress Asks About "Adultery," Trump Fires Kristi Noem — Washington Somehow Surprises Itself WASHINGTON — In a moment that historians are already calling the most awkward congressional hearing since Bill Clinton tried to

Marxists in the Democratic Party Turn Against Olympic Hero Jack Hughes After Discovering His Love of Trump, Capitalism, and the American Dream Fifteen Observations About the Jack Hughes Controversy Olympic gold

Death, Sex, Money… and the Democratic Primary Nobody Was Supposed to Run In America's political system prides itself on being open to outsiders. The brochures say anyone can run for office.

Five Observations Before We Even Get to the War 🎤 The President discovered that if he says nothing, the media will report it as "deeply concerning silence," but if he says

How to Save the Revolution From the Center, Which Is Basically a Sofa With Opinions There is nothing more dangerous to a revolution than a person who says, "Let us find

First President Testifying Under Subpoena… Still Denies Guilt, Blames Photos A New Legal Defense Strategy: "I Wasn't There Unless There's a Caption" WASHINGTON — History was made this week when former president

Trump Faces the Ultimate Recession: Losing the Sex Worker Vote Donald Trump’s presidency may be headed for an unexpected pothole: the nation’s sex workers. As traditional economic indicators struggle to reflect

The Trump-Powered Hat Trick: How the President of the United States Became the NHL's Secret Weapon Why Every Arena Now Has a MAGA Section and a Zamboni With Gold Plating In a

Birds Of A Feather: Kamala Harris Endorses Jasmine Crockett, Texas Democrats Immediately Begin Practicing Their Victory Face In A Mirror That Clearly Hates Them Fifteen Observations (Unnumbered, Like A Senate Speech

America's New Caste System: How Marxist Elites Declared War on Gold Medalists The Left Had One Job: Celebrate American Champions. They Failed Spectacularly. There is a moment — brief, beautiful, and increasingly

Prediction Market Rocked as Guy Uses Math Instead of Vibes In a tale stranger than a three-headed cat riding a hoverboard, a 37-year-old tax economist named Alan Cole allegedly bet all

Guardian Discovers Hockey Stick Wielding Revolutionary, Nation Braces For Slapshot Socialism Hockey Stick Wielding Revolutionary: Hilary Knight In a development that has shaken the free market to its core, Hilary Knight has reportedly responded to comments

15 Observations Before We Begin Bill Clinton adding "Epstein deposition" to his calendar feels like the least surprising sequel in American politics — right after Lewinsky 2: The Sworn Testimony. Hillary

Trump's 2026 State of the Union Speech: The Steak of the Union, Well Done, No Sauce A totally accurate, absolutely official, possibly improved transcript of the Trump 2026 State of the

Zohran Mamdani Discovers That Freezing to Death Is Bad, Actually NEW YORK — In a stunning breakthrough that has rocked the foundations of progressive politics, New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani

In the early hours of Sunday, February 22, 2026, U.S. Secret Service agents and a Palm Beach County Sheriff's deputy fatally shot 21-year-old Austin Tucker Martin of Moore County, North Carolina, after