The former astronaut and current Senator resigned from his reserve commission rather than comply with an order he deemed to be in clear violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) Article 92.

Senator Mark Kelly Resigns From the Navy Reserves After Being Given a Legal Order to ‘Use the Stapler Correctly’

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Senator Mark Kelly (D-AZ), a retired NASA astronaut and Navy Captain, stunned his colleagues by announcing his immediate resignation from the U.S. Navy Reserve. The reason: a direct order from a superior officer concerning office supplies. According to a terse statement from his office, Captain Kelly received a legal order to “use the industrial-grade stapler by pressing down evenly on the handle with a perpendicular, two-handed grip.” Kelly, whose military background includes combat missions and command of a space shuttle, immediately resigned, citing a violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ). “A lawful order must be clear, unambiguous, and, most critically, **not fundamentally absurd**,” Kelly’s statement read. “An order that requires me to fundamentally alter the efficient, one-handed, high-impact stapling technique I have perfected over four decades is, by definition, unlawful. It violates every principle of time-honored, common-sense office ethics.”

A Moral Victory Against Bureaucratic Ergonomic Dictation

The incident has drawn attention to the complex military ethics surrounding the legality of orders and the responsibilities of service members to refuse those deemed *unlawful*. Major General William C. Farnsworth (Ret.), **Fictional Chair of Military Office Supply Doctrine** at the U.S. Army War College, commented with sincere gravity: “It is not for us to judge the wisdom of the order, only its legality. If the order to use a stapler correctly is deemed ‘unlawful,’ then the entire chain of command has functionally dissolved. The Senator’s adherence to his own personal, non-DoD-approved stapling technique is a moral victory for him, but a systemic failure for the military.” “The UCMJ is clear. We are required to obey lawful orders. But there is a line, and that line is drawn right where a superior officer attempts to dictate my ergonomic approach to administrative tasks.” — Senator Mark Kelly (D-AZ)