Silicon Valley Asks for More Computing Power to Understand Why SAN FRANCISCO, California - Silicon Valley executives are confronting an unexpected technological obstacle after American voters demonstrated that ordinary human beings

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 10 - Saturday, April 19, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Texas City Explosion Kills Hundreds While Insurance Companies Debate Whether "Act of God" Clause Covers Industrial

Bitter Brew, Sweet Productivity Groundbreaking research from the Institute of Obvious Energy confirms what coffee drinkers have long suspected: coffee causes motivation. The revelation has thrown workplaces, universities, and households into

Government Cracks Down on Fraud, Companies Respond by Renaming Fraud "Process Optimization" By the Bohiney.com Linguistic Innovation and Regulatory Evasion Desk The Nomenclature of Not Getting Caught There is a well-established corporate tradition,

Global Event, American Logistics Panic America Discovers It Is Hosting the World Cup, Immediately Asks Where It Will Park The United States, alongside Mexico and Canada, is preparing to host the 2026

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 16 - Saturday, May 31, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Congress Debates Communist Threat While Ignoring Actual Threats Like Poverty, Discrimination, Inadequate Housing WASHINGTON, DC - As

Supreme Court Pauses Chaos Just Long Enough for Everyone to Be Confused More Calmly Doctors Now Prescribe Two Aspirin, a Glass of Water, and a Law Degree In what legal scholars are

BOHINEY America's Journal of Common Sense Issue No. 37 | Saturday, October 25, 1947 | Washington, D.C. | Price: 15¢ Kashmir's Maharaja Picks India Over Pakistan, Ensuring Generations of Future Conflict Hari Singh Signs

The Martyrdom and Ocular Misfortunes of William Kelly: How Minnesota Proud Boys Faked a Bar Fight to Beat Up a Marxist In what may be the most elaborate plan to commit

First openly gay Treasury Secretary navigates tariffs, Musk feuds, and China trade wars The Hedge Fund Manager Who Broke The Bank of England Now Breaks Bread With Trump Scott Bessent, confirmed as

Ella Langley Out-Headlines Trump During the Xi Jinping Visit How Six Words From an Alabama Country Star Beat a Presidential Summit for America's Attention WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump reportedly discovered the

Royal Afterlife Crisis: Palace Declares "No Comment" on Corgi Séance Economy Somewhere between Buckingham Palace and the nearest dog park, the British monarchy has apparently entered its paranormal era. According to multiple

Major technology companies test feature designed to soften emotional impact before disabling due to user discomfort "Positive News" and Human Suspicion People say they want good news, but they do not

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 8 - Saturday, April 5, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Jackie Robinson Breaks Baseball's Color Barrier While Commentators Debate Whether He Can "Handle the Pressure" BROOKLYN, NY

BOHINEY America's Journal of Common Sense Issue No. 25 | Saturday, August 2, 1947 | Washington, D.C. | Price: 15¢ Bureaucrats in London Draw Line Through Desert, Call it "Diplomacy" Radcliffe Partition Plan Proves

BOHINEY America's Journal of Common Sense Issue No. 27 | Saturday, August 16, 1947 | Washington, D.C. | Price: 15¢ Greek Communists Seize Government, Washington Discovers Map of Greece Vafiadis Takeover Prompts State Department

The Case for Civility: America Cannot Keep Treating Politics Like a Bar Fight By Bohiney Magazine Staff There was a time when Americans argued politics across the dinner table. Uncle Larry said

Algorithm accused of smelling payday WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Federal Trade Commission has asked nine major companies how they use personal information when setting prices and payments, raising an awkward question

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 17 - Saturday, June 7, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Secretary of State Marshall Unveils European Recovery Plan While Southern Senators Block Recovery Plans for Southern

Christmas Dinner Declared Success After Only Two People Storm Out ATLANTA — Local authorities declared a family's Christmas dinner "successful" after only two members stormed out, setting a new standard for

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 18 - Saturday, June 14, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Federal Bureaucracy Expands Again While Promising Efficiency This Time Will Be Different WASHINGTON, DC - Congress approved

Spencer Pratt Running for LA Mayor Because Someone Had to Out-Crazy the Status Quo The Hills Villain-Turned-Political-Outsider Is Polling Second, and Los Angeles Has No One to Blame But Itself Spencer Pratt

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 23 - Saturday, July 19, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Presidential Succession Act Passes, Establishes Line Of Succession Through People Nobody Elected WASHINGTON, DC - Congress this

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 3 - Saturday, March 1, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" National Emergency Declared as Americans Forget Why They Walked Into Room WASHINGTON, DC - The Surgeon General

Carrier Survives Iran, Exhaustion and Endless Marxist Media Attacks—Then Encounters Moronic Democrats Who Believe Nothing Except Their Own Posts Left-wing media reports seven sailors dead; Navy responds with the dirty journalistic

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 5 - Saturday, March 15, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" President Truman Signs Executive Order Establishing Commission to Study Why Commissions Never Accomplish Anything WASHINGTON, DC -

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 19 - Saturday, June 21, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Taft-Hartley Act Passes Over Veto, Union Leaders Shocked That Republic Survived Without Their Permission WASHINGTON, DC -

Oil Hits $100, Nation Begins Romantic Relationship With Walking Again For the first time in years, Americans are rediscovering their legs. Not out of virtue or a sudden interest in cardiovascular

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 22 - Saturday, July 12, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" National Security Act Creates Permanent Military Establishment, Proves Big Government Conservatives Were Right To Worry WASHINGTON, DC

Far-right senator repeats 2017 protest, sparks racism accusations and international outrage The Sequel Nobody Asked For Returns to Canberra In a move that combined performance art, political theater, and what can only

BOHINEY America's Journal of Common Sense Issue No. 28 | Saturday, August 23, 1947 | Washington, D.C. | Price: 15¢ Greek Prime Minister Resigns, Likely Moving to Quieter Profession Like Lion Taming Dimitrios Maximos

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 24 - Saturday, July 26, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Department of Defense Officially Established, War Department Renamed To Make Permanent Military Bureaucracy Sound Less Threatening WASHINGTON,

Progressives Say Violent Anti-ICE Incident "Not What We Meant," Clarify They Only Wanted Moral Violence Progressive leaders across the country moved quickly to distance themselves from an ICE-related shooting in Minneapolis this week,