200 Donald Trump Jokes

1. Tax Cuts for the Wealthy

1. Trump’s tax cuts were so big, even his golf courses got a rebate.
2. Donald Trump’s tax plan was so generous to the rich that even his hairpiece got a deduction.
3. Trump’s tax cuts are so slanted towards the wealthy, they should come with a complimentary yacht.
4. Trump’s idea of a fair tax is one where he gets to write off Mar-a-Lago as a business expense.
5. Trump’s tax plan was so rich-friendly, the 1% started calling him ‘Uncle Donnie.’
6. Trump’s tax cuts were so enormous, they needed their own zip code.
7. Trump’s tax policy was so focused on the rich, it made Scrooge McDuck jealous.
8. Trump’s tax cuts were so top-heavy, they should come with a weight warning.
9. Trump’s tax plan was so tailored to the wealthy, even Monopoly money started to look like a good investment.
10. Trump’s tax cuts were so targeted, the IRS needed a GPS just to find the middle class.

2. Gun Rights and the NRA

11. Trump’s love for the NRA is so strong, he tried to pass a law requiring everyone to carry a pocket Constitution… and a Glock.
12. Trump’s stance on gun rights was so firm, he proposed arming the Secret Service with golf clubs.
13. Trump was so pro-NRA, he wanted to replace the bald eagle with a .45 on the presidential seal.
14. Trump’s idea of gun control was making sure his Twitter trigger finger was always ready.
15. Trump is so pro-gun, he considered turning the Rose Garden into a shooting range.
16. Trump’s relationship with the NRA is so close, they were thinking of adopting him.
17. Trump’s gun rights stance was so strong, he considered making the national bird a Desert Eagle.
18. Trump’s support for the NRA was so unwavering, even his tweets were locked and loaded.
19. Trump loved the Second Amendment so much, he tried to make it the First.
20. Trump’s idea of gun control was making sure there were enough holsters at his rallies.

3. Climate Change Denial

21. Trump’s approach to climate change was so dismissive, he tried to ban the word ‘weather.’
22. Trump’s climate policy was so cold, it could have stopped global warming by itself.
23. Trump’s solution to climate change? Just turn up the air conditioning at Mar-a-Lago and call it a day.
24. Trump’s stance on climate change was so backward, even his golf courses were going green—by accident.
25. Trump’s idea of climate control was adjusting the thermostat at the White House.
26. Trump was so unconcerned with climate change, he thought ‘rising sea levels’ was just a beachfront property bonus.
27. Trump’s approach to climate change was to build a wall around it.
28. Trump believed in climate change so little, he considered selling winter coats as a solution.
29. Trump’s idea of environmental protection was putting a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the planet.
30. Trump’s idea of going green was using a different shade of hair dye.

4. Immigration Policies

31. Trump’s idea of immigration reform is building a wall so high, it would make Rapunzel jealous.
32. Trump’s border wall idea was so big, he wanted to add a Trump Tower every 100 miles.
33. Trump’s immigration policy was so strict, even his golf clubs had to show their papers.
34. Trump’s idea of an open-door policy is making sure the door is made of steel.
35. Trump’s immigration plan was so tough, it even made his toupee get a green card.
36. Trump’s immigration stance was so firm, he considered building a wall around the Statue of Liberty.
37. Trump wanted to stop illegal immigration so badly, he tried to deport avocados.
38. Trump’s immigration policy was so rigid, even the Statue of Liberty started to frown.
39. Trump’s idea of border security was making sure his Twitter feed was protected first.
40. Trump’s idea of controlling immigration was to send out a tweet warning everyone to stay away.

5. Small Government Advocacy

41. Trump wanted to shrink the government so much that he considered turning the White House into a timeshare.
42. Trump’s idea of small government was one where he had the only big office.
43. Trump’s idea of cutting government spending was to auction off the Lincoln Bedroom on eBay.
44. Trump wanted to downsize the government so much, even his cabinet meetings could fit in a golf cart.
45. Trump’s idea of small government was making the national debt disappear—like a magic trick.
46. Trump was so committed to small government, he tried to outsource the State of the Union to Twitter.
47. Trump’s plan for reducing government waste was to stop buying anything but golf balls.
48. Trump wanted to cut so much government red tape that he started selling scissors.
49. Trump’s idea of reducing the size of government was shrinking the size of his tax returns.
50. Trump’s version of small government was making sure the IRS had less paperwork—starting with his own.

6. Family Values

51. Trump’s commitment to family values is so strong, he made sure every one of his children got a job in the White House.
52. Trump’s idea of family values was making sure the Trump brand was passed down through generations.
53. Trump’s version of family values was holding a family reunion in the Oval Office.
54. Trump believed in family values so much that he made sure his family was the value.
55. Trump’s family values were so strong, he even tried to make nepotism a national holiday.
56. Trump’s idea of supporting families was to make sure all his kids had their own reality show.
57. Trump’s commitment to family values was so strong, he tried to put his face on the family tree.
58. Trump believed in family values so much that he considered naming one of his golf courses after his kids.
59. Trump’s idea of family unity was making sure everyone had a role in his administration.
60. Trump’s take on family values was so focused, even his grandchildren were given executive orders.

7. Religious Conservatism

61. Trump is so religious, he once tried to make ‘Covfefe’ the 11th commandment.
62. Trump’s idea of religious freedom was making sure his tweets were gospel.
63. Trump’s version of going to church was making sure the pews were as gold as his towers.
64. Trump was so religious, he considered renaming Air Force One ‘The Ark.’
65. Trump’s idea of a religious service was holding a press conference.
66. Trump believed in religious conservatism so much, he tried to give tax breaks to Sunday sermons.
67. Trump’s idea of a prayer was asking for higher ratings.
68. Trump is so religious, he considered making the Bible required reading at all his hotels.
69. Trump’s version of religious freedom was making sure everyone prayed for the same thing—his re-election.
70. Trump believed in divine intervention, especially when it came to his Twitter account.

8. Defense Spending

71. Trump’s idea of defense spending is so big, he tried to buy Greenland just to use it as a parking lot for military tanks.
72. Trump’s defense budget was so large, even Fort Knox was jealous.
73. Trump’s idea of defense spending was so high, it needed its own flight plan.
74. Trump’s defense spending was so massive, he considered building a wall around the Pentagon.
75. Trump’s military budget was so huge, he tried to rename the Army the ‘Trump National Guard.’
76. Trump’s idea of boosting the military was buying everyone a set of Trump golf clubs.
77. Trump’s defense budget was so big, it had its own Trump Tower.
78. Trump’s idea of national defense was making sure Mar-a-Lago had a missile defense system.
79. Trump’s idea of a strong defense was making sure the Pentagon had valet parking.
80. Trump’s military spending was so immense, even the Space Force asked for a budget cut.

9. Anti-Regulation Stance

81. Trump hates regulations so much, he tried to deregulate the use of hairspray, claiming it was a threat to national security.
82. Trump’s idea of cutting regulations was to throw the rulebook out the window—and then deregulate the window.
83. Trump’s anti-regulation stance was so strong, he wanted to remove stop signs because they were too restrictive.
84. Trump wanted to deregulate so much, even his ties started hanging loose.
85. Trump’s idea of freeing the economy was to get rid of every regulation—even the ones that kept the lights on.
86. Trump’s stance on regulations was so firm, even gravity felt threatened.
87. Trump wanted to deregulate so much, he considered turning the White House into a no-rules zone.
88. Trump’s idea of a free market was one where the only regulation was ‘Everything Must Go!’
89. Trump’s anti-regulation policy was so extreme, he wanted to sell the EPA to the highest bidder.
90. Trump’s idea of reducing government control was to deregulate everything except his Twitter account.

10. Healthcare

91. Trump’s healthcare plan was so vague, it made the fine print on your cable bill look like bedtime reading.
92. Trump’s idea of healthcare was to tell everyone to buy a Trump Steak and call it a day.
93. Trump’s approach to healthcare was so hands-off, even the doctors started diagnosing tweets.
94. Trump’s healthcare plan was so unclear, it was like getting a prescription written in invisible ink.
95. Trump’s idea of health insurance was making sure everyone had access to Trump vitamins.
96. Trump’s healthcare proposal was so sketchy, it should have been called ‘Obamacare Lite.’
97. Trump’s healthcare strategy was so minimal, even Band-Aids needed approval.
98. Trump’s idea of medical coverage was to tweet ‘Get well soon!’ to the entire country.
99. Trump’s healthcare plan was so slim, it could fit on a tweet—if only it made sense.
100. Trump’s idea of a healthcare solution was to rename aspirin ‘Trump Relief.’

11. Corporate Interests

101. Trump is so pro-business that he considered making the White House a franchise.
102. Trump’s corporate tax cuts were so sweet, they came with a side of caviar.
103. Trump’s idea of supporting small businesses was opening another Trump Tower.
104. Trump’s business ties were so strong, even the Oval Office needed a revolving door.
105. Trump was so pro-corporate, he tried to rename Washington D.C. ‘Trumpopolis.’
106. Trump’s idea of economic growth was making sure every corporation had a tax break.
107. Trump was so pro-business, he tried to add corporate logos to the American flag.
108. Trump’s corporate connections were so tight, even his speeches came with sponsorships.
109. Trump’s idea of stimulating the economy was offering a two-for-one deal on tax cuts.
110. Trump was so business-friendly, he tried to turn Congress into a boardroom.

12. Patriotism and Nationalism

111. Trump’s patriotism is so intense, he once tried to trademark the American flag.
112. Trump’s love for America was so strong, he considered making the Pledge of Allegiance a reality show.
113. Trump’s idea of nationalism was holding a Fourth of July parade every weekend.
114. Trump’s idea of patriotism was making sure his campaign merchandise was red, white, and gold.
115. Trump’s nationalism was so strong, he tried to add his face to Mount Rushmore.
116. Trump’s patriotism was so fierce, he considered making fireworks a national requirement.
117. Trump’s idea of showing love for the country was tweeting the national anthem daily.
118. Trump was so patriotic, he considered changing the name of Washington D.C. to Trump City.
119. Trump’s love for the flag was so strong, he tried to make it his official portrait.
120. Trump’s idea of America First was ensuring his name came first on every building.

13. Socialism Fear

121. Trump’s fear of socialism is so strong that he once tried to build a wall around Bernie Sanders.
122. Trump’s fear of socialism was so deep, he even started hiding his Monopoly set.
123. Trump’s idea of fighting socialism was making sure every policy came with a price tag.
124. Trump’s fear of socialism was so intense, he tried to turn the Capitol into a cash-only zone.
125. Trump’s response to socialism was so strong, he tried to deregulate the word.
126. Trump’s fear of socialism was so extreme, he tried to rename Social Security ‘Freedom Funds.’
127. Trump’s idea of stopping socialism was making sure every dollar had a picture of him on it.
128. Trump’s fear of socialism was so powerful, even his tax returns started hiding.
129. Trump’s idea of protecting capitalism was to sell it with a ‘Made in America’ sticker.
130. Trump’s fear of socialism was so great, he tried to ban the color red from his campaign.

14. Welfare and Social Programs

131. Trump’s idea of a social program was giving tax cuts to the rich and telling everyone else to just ‘be best.’
132. Trump’s stance on welfare was so tough, he considered renaming food stamps ‘Trump Vouchers.’
133. Trump’s idea of helping the poor was telling them to buy Trump merchandise.
134. Trump’s approach to social programs was so harsh, even the safety net started to fray.
135. Trump’s idea of a government handout was a photo op with a gold-plated check.
136. Trump’s stance on welfare was so strict, he considered making recipients attend Trump rallies.
137. Trump’s social program was so minimal, even his tweets had more substance.
138. Trump’s idea of welfare reform was offering a discount on Trump steaks.
139. Trump’s approach to social services was to rebrand them as ‘Trump Support.’
140. Trump’s welfare reform plan was so sparse, it could fit on a napkin.

15. Conspiracy Theories

141. Trump believes in so many conspiracy theories, he once tried to rename the Oval Office the ‘X-Files’ headquarters.
142. Trump’s belief in conspiracy theories is so strong, he tried to make ‘fake news’ a national security threat.
143. Trump’s idea of a security briefing was checking his Twitter feed for the latest conspiracy.
144. Trump believed in so many conspiracies, he even started questioning his own hairline.
145. Trump’s fascination with conspiracy theories was so deep, he tried to make them part of the national curriculum.
146. Trump’s love for conspiracy theories was so intense, he started wearing a tinfoil tie.
147. Trump’s idea of getting to the truth was asking QAnon for a second opinion.
148. Trump’s belief in conspiracies was so strong, even his shadow started looking suspicious.
149. Trump’s idea of debunking a conspiracy was to start a new one.
150. Trump’s love for conspiracies was so deep, he considered making Alex Jones his press secretary.

16. Voter ID and Election Integrity

151. Trump is so worried about election fraud that he demanded IDs at his rallies—just to make sure everyone was who they said they were.
152. Trump’s idea of voter ID was so strict, even his Twitter followers had to show proof.
153. Trump’s idea of election security was making sure every ballot was signed in gold ink.
154. Trump’s stance on voter ID was so firm, even his campaign buttons needed a background check.
155. Trump was so concerned with voter fraud, he tried to make Election Day a year-round event.
156. Trump’s idea of a fair election was one where every vote had to be Trump-certified.
157. Trump’s idea of voter integrity was making sure every ballot was stamped ‘Trump Approved.’
158. Trump’s idea of a secure election was tweeting the results himself.
159. Trump’s voter ID policy was so strict, even absentee ballots needed a passport.
160. Trump’s idea of election integrity was counting the votes with a Trump calculator.

17. Culture Wars

161. Trump is so deep in the culture wars, he once tried to ban avocados just because they’re too ‘West Coast.’
162. Trump’s idea of winning the culture wars was making sure his tweets had more likes than the opposition.
163. Trump’s approach to the culture wars was to make ‘Covfefe’ the new ‘Hello.’
164. Trump’s involvement in the culture wars was so intense, even his golf clubs started taking sides.
165. Trump’s idea of defending culture was to make MAGA hats required attire.
166. Trump’s idea of fighting the culture wars was making sure every tweet came with a disclaimer.
167. Trump’s take on the culture wars was to rename the White House ‘Trump Tower East.’
168. Trump’s approach to the culture wars was to make sure every debate had a reality show finale.
169. Trump’s idea of cultural preservation was putting his name on every building.
170. Trump’s involvement in the culture wars was so strong, even his slogans had battle scars.

18. Law and Order

171. Trump’s idea of law and order was bringing back stop-and-frisk—only this time, it was just for fake news reporters.
172. Trump’s take on law and order was to make sure his tweets had the final say.
173. Trump’s idea of enforcing law and order was making sure the White House had the biggest handcuffs.
174. Trump’s approach to law and order was so strict, even the White House pets needed badges.
175. Trump’s idea of a crackdown was turning his Twitter feed into a police scanner.
176. Trump’s approach to law and order was making sure every press briefing had a siren.
177. Trump’s take on law and order was to make the Constitution double as a rulebook for ‘The Apprentice.’
178. Trump’s idea of law enforcement was tweeting at 3 a.m. about national security.
179. Trump’s law and order plan was so strong, even his golf cart had flashing lights.
180. Trump’s approach to law and order was to make sure every rally ended with a curfew.

19. Corporate Tax Breaks

181. Trump’s corporate tax breaks were so generous that even Monopoly money started gaining real value.
182. Trump’s idea of corporate tax breaks was to give companies a pass and send them a Trump gift card.
183. Trump’s tax plan was so business-friendly, even his golf courses got a tax break.
184. Trump’s corporate tax cuts were so sweet, they came with a complimentary Trump steak.
185. Trump’s idea of corporate welfare was giving tax breaks and offering a spot on ‘The Apprentice.’
186. Trump’s corporate tax plan was so generous, even small businesses started asking for a cameo.
187. Trump’s idea of stimulating the economy was giving tax breaks to anyone who booked a room at Trump Tower.
188. Trump’s corporate tax cuts were so enormous, they came with their own logo.
189. Trump’s idea of boosting the economy was to cut corporate taxes and sell more MAGA hats.
190. Trump’s corporate tax breaks were so massive, they needed their own press secretary.

20. Rural vs. Urban Divide

191. Trump’s idea of bridging the rural-urban divide was to build a golf course on the border.
192. Trump’s take on the rural-urban divide was making sure everyone had access to a Trump rally.
193. Trump’s approach to the rural-urban divide was making sure his campaign rallies had both cowboy hats and city slickers.
194. Trump’s solution to the rural-urban divide was to put a Trump Tower in every cornfield.
195. Trump’s idea of uniting the country was to hold a MAGA parade in Times Square and a rodeo in Texas—simultaneously.
196. Trump’s approach to rural America was to promise a golf course in every farm.
197. Trump’s take on the rural-urban divide was to hold rallies in cornfields and skyscrapers alike.
198. Trump’s solution to the rural-urban divide was making sure everyone got a Trump steak.
199. Trump’s idea of reaching rural voters was to promise a MAGA hat with every bale of hay.
200. Trump’s solution to the rural-urban divide was to make the city folks jealous of the country club membership.