Paradise Workers Demand Showers, Boundaries, and Better Hygiene from Entitled Jihadists By: Yasmin Boom-Boom, Heavenly Labor Correspondent Paradise in Peril: 72 Virgins File Labor Complaint Over Martyrs’ “Unholy Hygiene” HEAVEN — In a

Congress Passes Civility Enforcement Act: New Law Requires Politicians to Say "Please" and "Thank You" By Freja Lindholm | Bohiney Magazine | October 13, 2025 Breaking: In unprecedented bipartisan move, lawmakers approve

When AI Took the Moral High Ground Against Kanye’s Antisemitism, Celebrities Napped AI: Fake it Till You Make It (Ethical Edition) In 2025, while Hollywood’s brightest Jewish stars were allegedly busy not

Mexico for the Mexicans: Democrats Declare This the Final Proof — "Trump Is Hitler After All" By Bohiney Magazine Staff | For Bohiney.com The Phrase That Launched a Thousand Think Pieces When a

The Top 20 Kamala Harris Jokes On Healthcare Reform "Kamala Harris's healthcare plan is so ambitious, it’s like she’s trying to turn every American into a doctor just to make sure

Washington DC Insight Microsoft - DC Technology/Software Microsoft - The world's richest IT help desk that accidentally invented work anxiety. Technology/Software Microsoft held a press conference today announcing "Windows Anxiety 365," a revolutionary

Gossip: The World’s Oldest (and Pettiest) Currency Gossip Is the Original Social Network Long before social media platforms turned us into dopamine addicts scrolling for virtual crumbs of attention, there was gossip—the

Maria Shriver Clings to Matthew Dowd Like It’s a Kennedy Family Tradition By Darla Freedom-Pie Magsen | Bohiney.com Satirical News Service Timing Is Everything, Unless You’re Matthew Dowd Matthew Dowd didn’t just get

Donald J. Trump named to the Top 10 "Weird" Military Leaders in History 1. Alexander the Great Alexander the Great, king of Macedonia, was labeled "weird" by both his contemporaries and historians

Girlfriend Says She's Fine, Creating International Crisis in Boyfriend's Nervous System The Four Most Terrifying Words in English It was 7:43 PM when Ethan Thompson of Columbus, Ohio, heard the words every

Breaking: Nation's Entire Population Diagnosed with Acute Intention-Action Gap Syndrome A Public Health Crisis of Our Own Making DATELINE: THE KITCHEN, SOMETIME BETWEEN "I'LL DO IT" AND "OH, RIGHT, THAT" In a stunning

Washington DC Insight PwC - DC Consulting/Professional Services PwC - The Hogwarts of corporate consulting, but instead of magic spells, you cast spreadsheets of questionable optimism. Consulting/Professional Services PwC announced today its most

Local Chef's Recipe for Disaster: Three Banks, One Day, and a Side of Desperation When Gordon Ramsay Says "Where's the Money?" He Doesn't Mean This In what culinary experts are calling the