Health & Fitness
Planet Fitness has announced a groundbreaking new policy requiring members to provide realistic timelines for their fitness goals, effectively ending the annual tradition of wildly optimistic New Year’s resolutions.
Alison Silverman (staff writer)
ATLANTA — Under the new system, members must acknowledge that they will likely abandon their workout routine by February 3rd and that their dreams of becoming Instagram fitness influencers are statistically improbable. “We’re tired of pretending that Susan from accounting is going to bench press 200 pounds by March,” explained gym manager Tom Rodriguez. “This policy helps everyone manage expectations and reduces locker room disappointment.” The policy has resulted in a 78% decrease in January membership sales but a 340% increase in member honesty.