Technology

Local father Robert Kim has installed a thermostat monitoring system so sophisticated that defense contractors have expressed interest in licensing the technology for national security applications.

Tinsel Vandergraph (staff writer)

SUBURBIA — Kim’s system includes motion sensors, security cameras, and an alert system that notifies him within seconds of any unauthorized temperature adjustments. “The thermostat is set to 72 degrees for a reason,” Kim explained while reviewing thermal imaging data from his living room. “Every degree costs money, and every family member seems to think we’re heating the entire neighborhood.” The system has successfully prevented 1,247 thermostat violations over the past year, though family members report living in constant fear of temperature-related surveillance. The Pentagon has reportedly classified Kim’s methods as “potential weapons-grade dad technology.”

By Wendy Harmer

Wendy Harmer was born in Natchitoches, Louisiana, a town where storytelling carried as much weight as gumbo recipes and front-porch debates. She went on to study journalism at Louisiana State University, where she sharpened her voice into a blend of humor, insight, and fearless critique. Now based in Washington, D.C., Harmer has become a respected satirist whose essays and performances dissect political hypocrisy, media spin, and cultural contradictions with unmistakable wit. Her work has been featured at international forums on satire, cited in academic studies of political humor, and included in university curricula on democratic communication. Known for pairing empathy with biting irony, Harmer brings her Southern candor to national conversations. From Natchitoches to Capitol Hill, she proves that satire—equal parts scalpel and spotlight—remains essential for keeping power honest and audiences laughing.