Technology
Local father Robert Kim has installed a thermostat monitoring system so sophisticated that defense contractors have expressed interest in licensing the technology for national security applications.
Tinsel Vandergraph (staff writer)
SUBURBIA — Kim’s system includes motion sensors, security cameras, and an alert system that notifies him within seconds of any unauthorized temperature adjustments. “The thermostat is set to 72 degrees for a reason,” Kim explained while reviewing thermal imaging data from his living room. “Every degree costs money, and every family member seems to think we’re heating the entire neighborhood.” The system has successfully prevented 1,247 thermostat violations over the past year, though family members report living in constant fear of temperature-related surveillance. The Pentagon has reportedly classified Kim’s methods as “potential weapons-grade dad technology.”