Post-Pandemic Awkwardness
“I Meant to Embrace. I Executed a Gentle Skull Jab.”
At his first post-pandemic in-person meeting, Greg Thistle miscalculated the angle and velocity of a welcome hug and accidentally headbutted his manager, Sandra, during what was meant to be a “soft workplace reentry.”
“My neck forgot how to socially behave,” Greg said, while applying ice wrapped in a quarterly report.
The incident was caught on video, earning 42K likes and birthing the hashtag #Hugpocalypse.
HR offered an apology card and a training video titled *Relearning Limbs: Social Gestures After Isolation.*
Greg now leads a movement for “No-Contact Coworking,” promoting elbow nods, foot taps, and sending empathy via Slack emojis.
His TEDx talk, *From Collision to Connection*, is pending approval from OSHA and his chiropractor.
Sandra has since requested all greetings be performed at a safe and reverent distance–preferably by drone.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
