I’m not difficult. (Literally impossible to please.)

The Customer Is Always Right–Unless You’re Them

Difficulty Is a Lifestyle, Not a Complaint

“I’m not difficult,” they whisper sweetly while returning a third entree, demanding a playlist change at the dentist, and filing a noise complaint against wind.

Funny Evidence from the Inconvenience Enthusiasts

One woman rejected a hotel pillow for “feeling too emotionally aggressive.” A man once left a date because the menu used Comic Sans.

Quote from a High-Maintenance Hero

“I just value quality,” said Crispin Pleaseno. “And if that requires 17 clarifications per conversation, that’s my truth.”

Satirical Snapshot

They leave one-star reviews like love letters and demand a manager over font sizes. Their bar for satisfaction is so high it requires FAA clearance.

Conclusion: If Everyone Needs a De-escalation Manual to Hang Out with You, You Might Be Difficult

Standards are fine. But if brunch with you feels like performance art and hostage negotiation combined, it’s time to chill.

For more impossible expectations, struggle happily at bohiney.com