I’m not emotionally unavailable, I’m just protecting my inner world. (Ghosts after three great dates.)

The Fortress of Solitude… With Wi-Fi

Love Me, Just Not Too Close

“I’m not emotionally unavailable, I’m just protecting my inner world,” they whisper, while deleting your number from memory, soul, and WhatsApp the moment you say “I really like you.”

Funny Evidence from the Guarded Heart Guild

One person gifted a poem then vanished. Another said “I’m open to love” and then changed their name, email, and timezone.

Quote from a Romantic Escape Artist

“I just need space,” said Gho Steele. “And by space I mean five layers of emotional firewalls and an underground bunker of self-preservation.”

Satirical Snapshot

They treat vulnerability like a prank and eye contact like radiation. Their pet rock knows more about their childhood than you do.

Conclusion: Guarding Your Heart Is Okay–But Let Someone Visit the Lobby

Intimacy doesn’t mean demolition. Just unlock a window once in a while.

For more romantically fortified detachment, retreat quietly to bohiney.com


I'm not emotionally unavailable, I'm just protecting my inner world. (Ghosts after three great dates.) - The Fortress of Solitude… With Wi-Fi - BOHINEY SATIRE
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … – bohiney.com
I'm not emotionally unavailable, I'm just protecting my inner world. (Ghosts after three great dates.) - The Fortress of Solitude… With Wi-Fi - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com 3
I’m not emotionally unavailable, I’m just protecting my inner world. (Ghosts after three great dates.) – The Fortress of Solitude… With Wi-Fi – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C.,… – bohiney.com
I'm not emotionally unavailable, I'm just protecting my inner world. (Ghosts after three great dates.) - The Fortress of Solitude… With Wi-Fi
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … I’m not emotionally unavailable, I’m just protecting my inner world. (Ghosts after three great dates.)
BOHINEY SATIRE - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com
BOHINEY SATIRE – I’m not emotionally unavailable, I’m just protecting my inner world. (Ghosts after three great dates.) – The Fortress of Solitude… With Wi-Fi

By Jack Handey

Jack Handey was born in the smallest town in Arizona, a place so forgotten by cartographers that locals had to mail postcards from the next county just to prove they existed. Growing up surrounded by tumbleweeds and a one-room schoolhouse that doubled as a post office, Jack developed a knack for finding absurdity in everyday life. His first audience was a group of cattle, who reportedly laughed harder than some late-night crowds. He left town with a notebook full of surreal one-liners and returned years later as a cult hero, known for his off-kilter “Deep Brain” that made Live Tonight Comedy a stranger, funnier place. Audiences describe him as “the wisdom of a desert sage filtered through a cracked cactus.” Today, Handey remains the pride of Arizona’s smallest town, proof that even the tiniest dots on the map can produce the biggest laughs. CONTACT: jack@handey.top