Weird Side Hustles
“I Found My Niche Between Lanes and Beyond Capitalism.”
Performance artist turned entrepreneur Kyle “ConeZen” Baxter has gone viral for his silent street act: dressing in bright orange and meditating motionless in high-traffic intersections. He claims to channel “urban chi” while passively generating Venmo tips from confused commuters.
“I’m not blocking traffic,” Kyle said. “I’m realigning its narrative.”
Wearing a custom foam cone with a third-eye decal, Kyle holds poses for up to five hours while cars honk blessings into the void. Sometimes he bows. Sometimes he levitates. Or possibly just shifts on one foot.
He earns up to $500 a day from donations, brand collabs (with traffic app Waze), and a pop-up merch line called *Namastop*.
City officials are unsure if he’s a hazard or a hero. One officer reportedly said, “We gave up. The aura was too strong.”
Kyle plans to expand into roundabout retreats and tollbooth tantra by Q4.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
