I’ll just *manifest* wealth. (Still broke.)
Manifestation Millionaires: Broke But Spiritually Funded
“I Don’t Have a Job, But I Have a Vision Board”
“I’m manifesting abundance,” they say, surrounded by scented candles, empty bank apps, and a Pinterest board titled “Boss Vibes 4Ever.”
Funny Evidence from the Affirmation Overdraft Club
One woman taped a $100 bill to her mirror and whispered “I am the currency” daily. Another made a shrine to Oprah with incense and unpaid utility bills as offerings.
Quote from a Financial Mystic
“The universe just needs to catch up with me,” said Sage Bankrupta, while paying for coffee in coins and expired punch cards.
Satirical Snapshot
They own five journals, zero income streams, and believe Mercury retrograde is the reason their rent is late. Again.
Conclusion: Vision Boards Are Great–But So Is Employment
Positive energy is powerful. But try mixing it with a résumé and maybe a side hustle that doesn’t involve crystals shaped like pineapples.
For more metaphysical money jokes, align your wallet at bohiney.com
