Reddit Mods Demand Therapy for Having Too Much Influence

In a shocking turn, Reddit moderators have launched a collective campaign demanding mental health stipends, claiming they are “accidental deities of the internet” and unqualified for that level of control.

“I banned a guy for saying croissants are overrated, and it wrecked my week,” confessed u/CerealKiller1979, a mod of r/breakfastjustice. “This power is corrosive. I know I’m not God, but sometimes… Reddit lets me be.”

Reddit’s structure—volunteer mods with absolute power, no pay, and infinite karma—has led to what psychologists now call Mod Grandiosity Disorder (MGD), where symptoms include moral absolutism, schedule-based banning, and viewing dissent as “troll energy.”

A leaked Slack conversation among top mods included cries for help like:

• “I need boundaries. I shadowbanned my mom last night.”

• “Does anyone else get aroused when deleting a 12-paragraph conspiracy?”

• “I don’t know who I am outside of flairs and thread locks.”

The moderators are now requesting group therapy, ban-anon meetings, and a mandatory 72-hour cooldown after any subreddit drama exceeding 500 upvotes.

In response, Reddit’s CEO offered a new wellness feature: “Soft Ban Mode”, where users are removed gently with a lullaby and an automated compliment.

But tensions remain high. “I mod r/ExistentialHotTakes,” said one volunteer. “Last week, I made three strangers question their marriages because they violated Rule 7. I shouldn’t have that kind of power. I work at a Subway.”

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