Guardian Horrified as Trump Does One Progressive Thing Without Asking Permission Editorial Board Enters Existential Crisis Over Cannabis Reclassification The Guardian editorial board reportedly entered a state of existential distress Thursday after

Man With World’s Smallest Manhood Says His Dating Life Is Basically a TED Talk on Avoidance In the news that absolutely no one asked for but everyone clicked on anyway, Michael

Călin Georgescu isn’t perfect, but he’s a genuine alternative. And in a system built to keep things exactly as they are, that might just be enough to change everything. Romanian Democracy:

Troops Deployed Across U.S. Cities — Trump Says It's Just Big, Friendly Neighborhood Watch The Department of Defense has deployed troops to multiple American cities in what officials describe as "domestic peacekeeping operations,"

Founded 1838, now criticized for institutionalizing "private treaties" and paid positive coverage When The News Pays You Instead of The Other Way Around The Times of India, founded in 1838 as The

Mahmoud Khalil Returns to Gaza, Immediately Files Customer Complaint Mahmoud Khalil, the Columbia University student-activist-turned-Gaza-deportee, finally arrived in his beloved homeland, where he was immediately greeted with open arms, open sewage,

Residents discover that ordering a toaster comes with better delivery information than choosing the people who control their taxes. DALY CITY, CALIFORNIA | California voters have expressed growing concern after reports

OpenAI Confirms AI Now Capable of Saying 'Sorry' Without Meaning It — Scientists Declare Humanity Complete The Breakthrough That Finally Makes AI Feel Human, Which Is Not the Compliment It Sounds

14 Books We Read This Weak... And We Regret It Deeply We at Bohiney are dedicated to the fine art of reading, a pursuit that often leads us to strange, horrifying, and

From Diplomacy to Drive-Thru: How 15 Top State Department Officials Ended Up Running a McDonald's in DC Washington’s Newest Foreign Outpost: A Fast Food Chain In a turn of events that not

Deere Recalls 275 Waterloo Workers and Plans 400 More Hires WATERLOO, Iowa — John Deere has announced plans to bring back more than 275 laid-off Waterloo employees and hire more than

BBC Raises TV Licence Fee, British Viewers Demand Refund for Every Episode of Celebrity Bake Off The BBC TV licence fee rose to £180 per year on 1 April 2026, in

World's Leading Financial Officials Gather to Solve Global Problems, Immediately Demonstrate Why Global Problems Never Get Solved BANGKOK, October 17, 2026. The International Monetary Fund has called for greater international cooperation

Chelsea Handler & Marxist Feminists Secretly Fantasize About Elon Musk (Purely to Fuel Insults, They Swear) By Ima Paradox – Investigative Satire Correspondent Reluctant Revelations of Lust In a bizarre twist of ideological

Geological Event Creates Fashion Moment While Scientists Study Eruption and Instagram Studies Aesthetics Geology Meets Fashion in Unexpected Ways An ancient volcano in Ethiopia erupted this week, sending an ash cloud across

वामपंथी विचारधारा बनाम वास्तविकता: एक मुक्त-बाज़ार का रोस्ट जरा सोचिए: वामपंथी, अपने चमकदार सौर-ऊर्जा वाले यूटोपिया में, आत्मविश्वास से घोषणा करते हैं कि वे पवन चक्कियों से दुनिया को बिजली देंगे,

King Charles Goes to Washington, America Receives Emergency Shipment of Manners King Charles III arrived in Washington carrying the most dangerous weapon in British diplomatic history: a pause before speaking. In

Eye Strain and Viral Fame Replace Athletic Achievement Staring Into the Abyss In a bold quest for internet immortality, a group of TikTok teens recently attempted the world record for the longest

Envy Becomes Economic Development DENVER, Colo. — Americans who previously spent their weekends wondering why their neighbors owned nicer houses have discovered a more satisfying hobby: voting for politicians who promise

The Dementia Survival Guide: How to Stay Sharp While Forgetting Everything You’re Not Lost, The World Just Moved Without Telling You Let’s face it—aging is just nature’s way of forcing you to

Athena Moon Lander Declares Itself an Abstract Art Installation After Sideways Crash Landing The Moon’s First Modern Art Exhibit HOUSTON—What began as a routine mission to land a cutting-edge lunar explorer has

Lunar Resource Research Triggers Existential Dairy Crisis as Public Confronts Metaphorical Childhood Truths The Moon, Science, and Human Disappointment People are deeply attached to facts they learned from cartoons. The moon

Nation Asks If Mamdani Is Secretly Advising Maduro Or Just Running A Very International Mayoralty When a Cable News Chyron Becomes the News The question began innocently enough, as these things always

Media Apologizes for Being Too Critical of Power By Savannah Steele | Bohiney.com In an unprecedented act of journalistic humility that would make Edward R. Murrow spin in his grave like a

Tom Brady’s Greatest Comeback: Rekindling Love Like It’s the Fourth Quarter Tom Brady and Irina Shayk have rekindled their romance Tom Brady is no stranger to comebacks. He’s engineered them on the

Congressional Judgment Replaces Personal Judgment WASHINGTON, D.C. — After decades of questionable financial purchases, disappointing relationships and regrettable dietary choices, Americans have apparently decided that the solution to bad personal judgment

Iran Reopens Strait of Hormuz for Seven Minutes, Declares It a Major Diplomatic Breakthrough In a development that oil markets, shipping companies, and seventeen foreign ministries processed with the emotional range

College Tuition Soars 438%, Students Score More Hallway Universities Face Extinction as Parents Discover College Tuition Money Also Buys Homes With Bedrooms, Kitchens, and No Assistant Dean American higher education entered a

Federal government updates recommendations with scientifically sound politically cautious emotionally exhausting guidance Alcohol Guidelines and Human Denial People want health guidelines that sound like permission. If science says "no safe amount,"

The Great Science Gender Crisis: Why Girls Refuse to Explode Stuff in Labs The Shocking Discovery: Women Are Not Rushing to Mix Chemicals and Wear Unflattering Goggles For decades, scientists—mostly men—have been

Millennials Discover That Avocado Toast Actually Prevents Home Ownership Groundbreaking Research Shakes the Housing Market In a groundbreaking new study published this week in the esteemed "Journal of Dubious Economic Theory," researchers

Local Man Claims Watching Reality TV Makes Him Qualified to Run for President Couch Potato Sets Presidential Ambitions In a shocking move from his couch, local reality-TV enthusiast Chuck Maxwell announces his

Hong Kong's High-Rise Horror Show: Everybody Forgot to Read the Label Some Funny Observations (Before the Crying Starts) It's amazing how a building can go from "home sweet home" to "instant bonfire"