This is *college-level* material! (It’s not.)

Fake Ivy: When Teachers Hype Up Worksheets from 1997

“College-Level” – As in, Community College at Recess

Some teachers throw out the phrase “college-level material” like it’s a dare. You brace for complexity–and receive a worksheet about oxbow lakes written in Comic Sans.

Funny Evidence from the Academic Bluff Files

One student was handed a multiple-choice test and told, “This is how Harvard does it.” It was printed double-sided–on scented paper. Another teacher claimed their vocab quiz was “graduate-tier.” It featured the word “moist.”

Quote from a Scholarly Impersonator

“It’s all about setting expectations,” said Mr. DiplomaFlex, while assigning a diorama project labeled “doctoral optional.”

Satirical Snapshot

“College-level” is the educational version of “artisan.” It doesn’t mean anything, but sounds fancy enough to shut down questions and complaints.

Conclusion: Don’t Call It a Masterclass If the Final Project Is Glitter-Based

Let’s be honest–real college work involves despair, ramen, and vague existential dread. If that’s not on the syllabus, it’s not collegiate.

For more inflated intellect, enroll ironically at bohiney.com