“Good Vibes Only” Cults
“She Floated Into Brunch Saying ‘Negativity Is a Mind Construct.’ Then She Ate With a Tuning Fork.”
Wellness influencer Maribelle Sunshine has taken “good vibes only” to metaphysical extremes. After attending a 9-day sound bath retreat called *MoodFest 9D*, she returned home floating–figuratively and nearly literally.
She no longer uses the word “problem,” opting for “growth flirtation.” She refers to taxes as “energetic tithes” and claims gravity is a “belief system she’s unfollowing.”
Her blender is powered by “chakra flow.” Her plants get affirmations instead of water. One cactus tried to leave.
Friends attempted an intervention, but Maribelle responded with a crystal toss and a chant: “Only radiance may enter.”
She’s started a spiritual MLM called *Glow-ganics*, selling powdered sunlight and empathy tinctures harvested under Libra moons.
Her podcast is just five minutes of humming and the phrase “Rebirth is not taxable.”
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
