Politicians Welcome Baumol’s Disease, First Medical Condition Capable of Explaining Every Broken Campaign Promise Washington diagnoses angry taxpayers with an economic disorder, prescribes higher taxes and schedules another consultation after the

Trump Didn't Ask Us... By the Bohiney.com Staff — featuring Bob Odenkirk, Annika Steinmann, Megan Amram, and Doaa El-Adl The staff of Bohiney.com gathered first thing Saturday morning, the way we do every week to hammer out

Top 10 "Tacky" Things That Definitely Happened at Khamenei's Funeral Blasphemy inspired by recent news coverage. This is farcical comedy, not a Quran-based account. When a State Funeral Turns Into a Circus

Thong and Dance: Carnival's Lifou Bikini Ban Has Cruise Passengers Clutching Their Cover-Ups MIAMI  |  In a development that has rattled the foundations of American leisure, Carnival Cruise Line has reminded passengers that one

Supreme Achievement Of American Politics: Convincing Voters Simultaneously That Everything Is Great And The Country Is Literally On Fire WASHINGTON, D.C. (BOHINEY.COM DATELINE) — Political scientists at the University of Texas at

Americans Simultaneously Terrified AI Will Take Their Jobs and Using AI to Write Their Résumés to Get New Ones Nation Develops Nuanced Relationship With Artificial Intelligence Best Described as "Deep Suspicion,

Activists Sue to Keep the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool Looking Like a Swamp — And They're Winning Five Observations About Trump Derangement Syndrome and the Blue Pool Panic Washington activists now

Jimmy Kimmel Declares Ongoing War on MAGA, Accidentally Invents the World's Longest Monologue 15 Humorous Observations About Jimmy Kimmel's Ongoing "Concern" With MAGA 🎤🧢 Jimmy Kimmel has reached the point where

MIT Says LLMs Are Powerful, America Asks If They Can Fold Laundry Yet Nation Learns "Large Language Model" Is Just a Fancy Name for a Machine That Writes Emails Nobody Reads CAMBRIDGE,

Mayor Discovers Budget Hack: “If You Can’t Balance It, Just Borrow From Everyone’s Pension” NEW YORK CITY — In a stunning act of fiscal creativity that economists are calling “bold,” “innovative,” and

Company Produces Record Amount of Code, Immediately Buried Alive Under It Five observations settled over the company like a thick layer of documentation. Output has surpassed comprehension. Growth has outpaced control.

Tech Firm Opens New Office in Empty Apartment, Calls It "Flexible Workspace Initiative" By the Bohiney.com Real Estate and Regulatory Confusion Correspondent The Office That Exists Only in Spirit — and Occasionally

Corporate America Discovers New Talent Pool: People Who Can't Quit By the Bohiney.com Bureau of Workforce Absurdity The Talent That Was Here All Along — Trapped Corporate America has made a stunning breakthrough

Britain Sends One Drone to the Strait of Hormuz, Calls It a Fleet Starmer's strongly worded letter arrives by second-class post as Washington deploys two carrier strike groups and Paris commits

Death, Sex, Money… and the Democratic Primary Nobody Was Supposed to Run In America's political system prides itself on being open to outsiders. The brochures say anyone can run for office.

Pakistan-Afghanistan Relations Downgraded From ‘Complicated’ to ‘Explosive’ Observations Before Things Detonate Further The relationship status between Pakistan and Afghanistan has officially moved from “It’s Complicated” to “We Need to Step Outside.”

The Man Who Could Invoice a Corporation Using Only a Microphone A Respectful, Completely Calm, Totally Not Nervous Satirical Obituary America lost one of its most recognizable negotiators this week: Reverend Jesse Jackson,

Municipal Officials Seriously Consider Converting Standard Signals into Historical Communication Patterns "Smart City" Traffic Ideas City councils believe boredom is the enemy of safety. If a system works, someone will propose

Algorithm Glitch Transforms Breaking News into Gentle Humor, Users Report Unexpected Relief Reading the News Online People say they want unbiased news, but what they really want is news that agrees

US Opinion Divided: 33% Back Strike, 67% Back Cinnamon Rolls WASHINGTON — A stunning poll has revealed that while exactly one-third of Americans say they support the United States' military strike

Long-Term Vision, Short-Term Panic Team USA Hockey Releases Another "Development Update," Nation Pretends This Is New Information USA Hockey released an official development update highlighting youth pipelines, coaching initiatives, and long-term strategic

The Material Reality of Murder: Who Pays When the Accused Kills His Benefactors? Three days after Hollywood director Rob Reiner and his wife Michele Singer Reiner were found stabbed to death

Millions of Android TV Boxes Are Secretly Running Crime Networks—And You’re the Host Welcome to the Internet of (Criminal) Things You thought you were buying a $19 Android streaming box for cheaper

Grandparents who spoil kids then leave Grandparenting: All Fun, No Consequences Sugar, Chaos, and a Quick ExitGrandparents are magical creatures who arrive with candy, ignore all parenting rules, and vanish before the

I'll just *quickly* check my phone. (Crashes.) Tap, Scroll, Crash: Multitasking into Mayhem Just One Text From Disaster"I'll just quickly check my phone," they mutter, reaching for a dopamine hit while barreling

Remote Control Fights Love in 1080pWhat began as a casual disagreement over whether to watch *The Great British Bake Off* or *Chainsaw Gladiators IV* escalated into a silent war featuring passive-aggressive

Everyday Life & Modern Absurdities Autocorrect Apocalypse: Study Shows 143% of Digital Disasters Caused by "Helpful" Feature Textual ArmageddonWhistleblower Exposes Autocorrect as Digital Psychological WarfareA catastrophic new study from the Global Institute

Tehran's Barber Blockade Urged for Democracy's Sake – Special Report #22 Iranian youth begin beard-burning protests using ceremonial oils. Trump's team offered Ayatollah free Dollar Shave Club samples. Mojtaba promised a

Climate change deniers who also believe in 5G conspiracies Wi-Fi, Weather, and Willful Ignorance: The Climate-5G Denial Crossover The Forecast Calls for Delusion with a Chance of RadiationThere's a special Venn diagram

Florida Man Claims to Be Trump’s Court Jester, Demands Salary in Arby’s Coupons TAMPA, FL — Declaring himself “Sir Jokes-A-Lot of the MAGA Realm,” local Florida man Dale “Dingo” Haversham stormed

Islamic Holdout vs. Unsuspecting Canines An Exposé from  Iran on Dog Walking Drama The Ban, The Health, The Religion In a bold move straight out of a stand-up routine, Iran extended its dog-walking

Facial Hair Fatwa Urged before Elections – Special Report #76 Mojtaba promised a soul patch compromise--neither accepted nor denied. Rouhani allegedly keeps a secret clean-shaven passport in Dubai. Iranian youth begin

Terrible Karaoke Duets "He Went Full Cooper. She Went Full Gaga. The Crowd Went Full Nope."During a drunken Wednesday karaoke night at The Crooning Loon, couple Angie and Trevor chose "Shallow"