New Bureaucracy Will Oversee All Other Bureaucracies

Critics Ask: Who Will Regulate the Regulators?

Regulating Regulations: A Bold New FrontierWASHINGTON, D.C. — In a historic move towards streamlining government inefficiency, Congress has announced a new federal agency dedicated to regulating the very regulations they continue to create. The Office of Regulatory Oversight & Compliance Affairs Bureau (OROCAB) will have the power to review, refine, and, if necessary, create even more regulations to regulate existing regulations.

“Americans are tired of excessive government red tape,” said Senator Richard Landers, who has proposed three new layers of regulatory review for the agency before it can begin operations. “That’s why we need a strong regulatory body to make sure our over-regulation is properly regulated.”

Experts Struggle to Define This Level of Bureaucracy

Policy analysts are calling this a unique moment in government history. “Usually, regulations just pile up until no one remembers why they exist,” said government efficiency expert Linda Paxton. “This is the first time we’ve seen an effort to regulate the regulations regulating regulations.”

The agency, which already has a budget exceeding that of the Department of Education, will be staffed by career bureaucrats tasked with ensuring that old, outdated rules are replaced with newer, equally confusing ones.

“We’ve needed this for a long time,” said OROCAB director-elect Gerald Thornton. “Right now, there’s no way to know whether the people making rules about rules are following the rules about making rules.”

Americans Prepare for Even More Paperwork

The announcement has been met with skepticism by business owners, who anticipate even more required forms. “I already need six permits just to sell lemonade,” said small business owner Rachel Kim. “Now I’ll probably need a seventh to prove I’m in compliance with the laws about proving compliance.”

Meanwhile, government watchdogs warn that the agency may grow out of control. “The last time Congress created an office to oversee something, we ended up with four more agencies overseeing it,” said government accountability advocate Greg Wilcox.

Despite the concerns, lawmakers remain confident that this will bring clarity to the country’s sprawling bureaucracy. “Once the agency is fully staffed, we’ll have a better idea of how to proceed,” said Senator Landers. “And if it doesn’t work, we’ll create a separate agency to regulate it.”

15 Humorous Observations About Regulating Regulations

• The government’s solution to too many rules? More rules.
• By 2030, half of all federal employees will work in regulatory oversight.
• The best way to fix a tangled mess of red tape is to add another layer of red tape.
• Bureaucracy is just the government playing Jenga with paperwork.
• There are now more regulations about regulations than actual regulations.
• This new agency is just a permission slip for permission slips.
• Soon, applying for a driver’s license will require a 500-page compliance report.
• The government has officially regulated the act of regulating regulations.
• Congress created a committee to study committees, and now here we are.
• If you don’t know which form to fill out, there’s now a new department to tell you.
• The agency will take five years just to create guidelines about guidelines.
• The regulatory process now requires a regulation about explaining regulations.
• If you want less bureaucracy, you’ll need to submit a request in triplicate.
• Bureaucrats have invented job security—by making rules about making rules.
• The only thing more complex than taxes is government regulations about regulations.

5 Comedian One-Liners About Government Overreach

“The government’s solution to too many laws is… more laws. It’s like fixing a leaky boat by adding more water.” – John Oliver

“If the government was in charge of cutting red tape, they’d start by hiring 500 people to study the problem.” – Trevor Noah

“We have an agency regulating regulations. At this point, bureaucracy is a snake eating its own paperwork.” – Seth Meyers

“You want a simple process? Sorry, you’ll need to submit Form 27B/6 for that.” – Stephen Colbert

“Nothing says ‘efficient government’ like a committee discussing how to form another committee.” – Jimmy Fallon