I’m not clingy, I’m just loyal. (Tracks location.)
Location Sharing Is Not a Love Language
Loyal Like a Shadow You Can’t Turn Off
“I’m not clingy, I’m just loyal,” they insist, while refreshing your GPS dot, organizing your sock drawer, and bookmarking a couples’ therapist before you even date.
Funny Evidence from the Ride-or-Die Surveillance Squad
One person offered to “accidentally run into you” across three zip codes. Another sent 12 “just checking in” texts before breakfast.
Quote from a Devoted Detective
“I’m loyal,” said Vicky Watchful. “And if loyalty involves creating a scrapbook of your recent browser history, that’s just modern romance.”
Satirical Snapshot
They call it commitment, but it smells like stalking. If you blink too long, they’ll plan your wedding and the seating chart for your ghost.
Conclusion: Loyalty Shouldn’t Require Wi-Fi, Passwords, and Access to Your Smart Fridge
Love is patient, not persistent like malware.
For more love-inspired life tracking, cling to bohiney.com