Tattoo Regrets
“I Wanted ‘Fortune Favors the Bold.’ I Got ‘Pasta Loves the Lizard.'”
Trevor Dawes wanted a tattoo to mark his graduation–a tribute to his perseverance through five years of community college and two majors he never used. He chose Latin to add gravitas. Unfortunately, his tattoo artist relied on Google Translate and a bottle of Fireball. The result? *Fortitudo Pastae Lacertae.*
“It was supposed to mean ‘Fortune favors the bold,'” Trevor explained. “Now it means ‘Pasta loves the lizard,’ and I am the unwilling pope of motivational nonsense.”
Strangers began approaching him in coffee shops, asking if it was a metaphor for persistence or a new form of carb worship. One woman claimed it healed her relationship with linguine.
Trevor now embraces the mistake. He launched a wellness brand under the motto, selling candles, t-shirts, and guided meditations focused on embracing life’s errors with marinara-scented clarity.
The Vatican has not commented but did like his TikTok explaining the “Sacrament of Starch.”
Trevor’s mom remains disappointed but now calls him “My little linguine prophet.”
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
