I’m not intense, I just feel things deeply. (Breaks down over salad.)
Sensitive Salad Chronicles: The Dressing Was a Metaphor
When Emotions Outweigh Entrees
“I’m not intense, I just feel things deeply,” they sob, halfway through a Cobb salad because the blue cheese reminded them of a childhood memory involving betrayal and dairy intolerance.
Funny Evidence from the Emotion Overload Institute
One person cried because their coffee “tasted like abandonment.” Another had a full existential crisis when someone didn’t say “bless you” after a sneeze.
Quote from a Feeling Fountain
“I don’t overreact,” said Moodie Bloom. “I just engage with the emotional undercurrents of everything–including this breadstick.”
Satirical Snapshot
Their idea of small talk involves shadow work, soul contracts, and an unprompted tearful apology for middle school.
Conclusion: Feeling Things Is Beautiful–But Maybe Don’t Cry at Olive Garden
You’re not wrong to be sensitive. Just maybe bring tissues… and tip well.
For more menu-based meltdowns, cry-laugh through bohiney.com
