I’m not difficult to love. (Has a 47-item checklist.)
Swipe Right, Then Complete This Survey
Love Me, But Make It Through a Maze First
“I’m not difficult to love,” they say, while handing over a laminated compatibility quiz, mood tracker, emotional glossary, and a PowerPoint titled *What Triggers Me, Slide by Slide.*
Funny Evidence from the Romance Bureaucracy
One person requires love letters to be MLA formatted. Another once broke up because someone used the wrong font in a text message.
Quote from a Complicated Cupcake
“I just have standards,” said Velvet Checklist. “And if you can’t meet them, it’s not personal–it’s statistical.”
Satirical Snapshot
They claim to be low-maintenance but require a six-step greeting ritual, daily affirmations, and biweekly emotional audits to feel “seen.”
Conclusion: Love Isn’t a Rubik’s Cube with Feelings
Deserve great love, yes. But if you need a QR code and two apps to date you, maybe simplify the terms.
For more tender tyranny, apply within at bohiney.com
