Accountability Is for Losers, Reads Latin Translation
Trump Unveils New Presidential Seal Featuring Mirror, Middle Finger, and Golf Cart With No Brakes
“Accountability Is for Losers,” Reads Latin Translation
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former President Donald Trump has revealed a redesigned version of the Presidential Seal for his potential second term, featuring bold new symbols including a mirror (for deflecting blame), a raised middle finger (pointed left), and a golf cart with no brakes (symbolizing forward momentum, consequences be damned).
“This seal is big, it’s beautiful, and it reflects my leadership style,” Trump told reporters from the 13th hole of his Doral resort. “Always forward, never sorry.”
The Latin phrase once reading “E Pluribus Unum” has been replaced by “Responsabilitas Est Pro Deficientes,” which roughly translates to “Accountability Is for Losers.”
Critics from the National Archives called the design “a constitutional fever dream.” Trump replied, “Wrong. It’s a constitutional upgrade.”
The eagle in the seal has been replaced by a bald peacock wearing aviators and holding a non-disclosure agreement in each talon.
Tourists visiting D.C. can now buy replicas of the seal in gold foil, airbrushed onto beach towels, or tattooed directly onto the back of their cousin Carl.
When asked if the seal would be approved by Congress, Trump laughed, “Congress? I sealed them too — with a “Beta Win.'”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
