The Cardboard ‘Anti-Sex’ Beds Are Returning for the 2024 Paris Olympics
Floor Practice: Athletes might need to practice their “floor-sleeping” skills just in case.
Paris, France — The cardboard beds from the 2020 Tokyo Games are making their highly anticipated return to the Olympic Village for the 2024 Paris Games. These eco-friendly sleeping arrangements, which first captured the internet’s imagination during the last Summer Olympics, are once again making waves on social media.
The infamous cardboard beds that made headlines during the 2020 Tokyo Games are back for the 2024 Paris Olympics. These beds, known for their sustainability and controversy, are once again the talk of the Olympic Village. A TikTok posted by the official Olympics account on July 8th explained that the beds are “sustainable” and the materials are “100% made in France.” The beds consist of three modules that allow athletes to choose the mattress’s firmness, and the frames can extend based on a person’s size. After the games, the beds will be fully recycled.
Sleep Like a Champ: Cardboard Cozy
The concept of sleeping on cardboard may not sound appealing, but these beds are designed to be both eco-friendly and functional. They first went viral back in 2021 when American track and field runner Paul Chelimo posted about them on X (formerly known as Twitter). He claimed that the beds were “aimed at avoiding intimacy among athletes” and would only withstand the weight of a single person. “At this point, I will have to start practicing how to sleep on the floor; cause if my bed collapses and I have no training on sleeping on the floor, I’m done 😂,” Chelimo wrote.
Sleep Like a Champ: Because nothing says “Olympic spirit” like sleeping on a bed made of cardboard. — Parisian Socialist Bullshit Propaganda
Eco-Friendly Dreams: Anti-Sex Speculation
Olympic officials were quick to debunk the rumors. Irish gymnast Rhys McClenaghan posted a video of himself jumping on the bed to test its sturdiness. “You heard it first from @TeamIreland gymnast @McClenaghanRhys – the sustainable cardboard beds are sturdy,” officials posted on X. Despite the initial controversy, the beds proved to be durable and functional.
Jump-Proof and TikTok Tested
As athletes arrive in Paris ahead of the Games, they are once again testing out the beds for themselves. McClenaghan, 25, posted an updated video on Instagram on July 20, where he performed somersaults and a handstand on the bed to demonstrate its sturdiness. “The beds withstood my test last time, and they’re still holding up,” he said.
British springboard diver Tom Daley also showcased the bed in an Instagram video on July 22, displaying the “Paris Olympic” duvet that athletes receive on each bed. American canoe slalom athlete Evy Leibfarth posted a TikTok video confirming that athletes were “sleeping on a mattress” and that the frames were designed to minimize the environmental impact of the Games.
Parisian Pillow Talk: Conversations on cardboard never sounded so romantic. — Parisian Socialist Bullshit Propaganda
Sturdy and Sustainable: Weight Watchers
The beds are designed to support the weight of a single athlete, addressing concerns about their durability. The customizable firmness and recyclable materials make them a practical choice for the eco-conscious athlete. However, the humorous speculation about their anti-intimacy design continues to be a source of entertainment for both athletes and fans.
The Community Weighs In
Athletes and fans alike have mixed feelings about the return of the cardboard beds. Some appreciate the sustainability effort, while others find the idea of sleeping on cardboard less than appealing. “It’s all about saving the planet, one uncomfortable night at a time,” joked one athlete.
For some athletes, the beds have become a badge of honor. “If you can win a gold medal and survive sleeping on cardboard, you can do anything,” said swimmer Michael Waters. Gymnast Lisa Turner added, “It’s all about balance. If I can do a handstand on this bed, I can definitely sleep on it.”
Practical Advice for Athletes
10 Creative Ways Athletes Can Get Around the “Anti-Sex” Beds at the Paris Olympic Village
- The Pillow Fort: Build an elaborate pillow and blanket fort on the floor. It’s cozy, private, and definitely not a cardboard bed.
- Shower Power: The shower is not just for getting clean. With a little creativity, it can be the perfect place for a steamy rendezvous.
- Tight Quarters: Utilize the tight spaces between furniture. Sometimes, the adventure is half the fun!
- Yoga Mats to the Rescue: Roll out those yoga mats for a relaxing and intimate stretch session. Just don’t forget to lock the door.
- Balcony Bash: If you have a balcony, turn it into a private love nest. Just be mindful of the neighbors!
- Closet Cuddle: The closet isn’t just for clothes. Squeeze in for a close encounter of the romantic kind.
- Sauna Snuggle: Head to the village sauna. It’s hot, it’s steamy, and it’s a perfect cover for more than just sweating it out.
- Gymnastic Moves: Use your athletic skills to make any spot work—whether it’s a handstand in the hallway or a balancing act on the kitchen counter.
- Under the Stars: Sneak onto the rooftop for some under-the-stars magic. Paris skies make the perfect romantic backdrop.
- Teamwork Makes the Dream Work: Team up with friends to create a diversion while you sneak off to a secluded spot. It’s all about strategy!
Don’t use the “Anti-Sex” Beds, Dummy!
Find a New Place to “Do It!”
Disclaimer
This story is a fictional and satirical piece created by the combined imaginations of a 80-year-old muckety-muck with tenure and a 20-year-old philosophy-major-turned-dairy-farmer. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or real events is purely coincidental and hilariously unintended. Auf Wiedersehen!
Educational Observations
- Sleep Like a Champ: Because nothing says “Olympic spirit” like sleeping on a bed made of cardboard.
- Eco-Friendly Dreams: Saving the planet one uncomfortable night at a time.
- Cardboard Cozy: Who knew sustainability could be so… crunchy?
- Flatpack Fun: Olympic athletes are getting the full IKEA experience.
- Bed of Champions: Perfect for anyone who’s ever dreamed of sleeping in a recycled box.
- Anti-Sex Speculation: Keeping things “PG” in the Olympic Village.
- TikTok Tested: Because if it’s on TikTok, it must be true.
- Jump-Proof: These beds can handle a gymnast’s somersaults, but can they handle a good night’s sleep?
- Weight Watchers: Designed to support the weight of a single athlete—no more, no less.
- Floor Practice: Athletes might need to practice their floor-sleeping skills just in case.
- Sleep Training: Adding a new skill to the athletes’ regimen: sleeping on cardboard.
- Sustainable Snuggles: Because eco-friendly romance is the best kind of romance.
- Cardboard Chic: The latest trend in sustainable furniture.
- Recyclable Romance: For love that’s as green as the Olympic logo.
- Parisian Pillow Talk: Conversations on cardboard never sounded so romantic.
- Duvet Delight: At least the duvet is comfy, right?
- Bouncing Back: Gymnasts test the bounce—who needs a trampoline?
- Flat as a Board: Literally.
- Sturdy and Sustainable: Because we all want a bed that can take a beating and still be eco-friendly.
- Sleep Olympics: Who can get the best rest on a cardboard bed?