Zohran Mamdani Deported, Declares Mayoral Run in Uganda’s Capital Kampala KAMPALA—After being unceremoniously deported from the United States for the alleged crime of being a “100% communist,” former New York Assemblyman

U.S. President Donald Trump just announced that the U.S. military had conducted strikes on three Iranian nuclear sites, including the underground fuel enrichment plant in Fordow. This squadron callsign, MYTEE21,

The Taylor Swift Effect: How Pop Star Romance Warped NFL Statistics and Travis Kelce's Brain When Celebrity Romance Becomes a Performance-Enhancing Drug The "Taylor Swift Effect" is now statistically more credible than

ChatGPT OCD Loop: When Your Therapist Is Also the Enabler By Dr. Wanda Query, Cognitive Dissonance Correspondent Published in “The Hand-Washer’s Almanac & Digital Anxiety Digest” When historians look back on 2025, they

Alec Baldwin Declares War on Police Crackdown, Promises to Direct the Sequel By Waverly Faith In a move that has confused law enforcement, politicians, and even his own publicist, Alec Baldwin has

Netflix Announces AI-Generated Sitcom Starring Robots; Humans Optional In a bold—and some say terrifying—move, Netflix has announced its first AI-generated sitcom, featuring an all-robot cast and a tagline that reads: "Humans

Toddler Bootcamp: Royal Training for Waving, Not Working How Prince Harry's Wild Fantasies Turned Archie Into a Libertarian Who Loves Baseball By the time most toddlers are learning to count Cheerios, Prince

We Just Gave Iran a Precision Butt-Kicking They’ll Never Forget – President Donald J. Trump, Commander-in-Beef, Master of Bombast Full Transcript from the East Room of the White House “Thank you. Thank you.

NASA's 3.1% Apocalypse: Experts Say "Don't Panic," Which Is Exactly Why We're Panicking -- "City Killer" Asteroid By The Wit and Wisdom Department of Bohiney.com – "Because Denial Is the Best

The I-9 Compliance Guide Iowa School Districts Forgot to Read Satirical Employment Law Primer When Ian Roberts presented his I-9 documents to Iowa school officials, they accepted them "in good faith" —

Iran Claims Missile Strike on Israel’s Ben Gurion Airport—World Struggles to Find Evidence, or Give a Damn A Grand Victory Over Absolutely Nothing In what Tehran heralded as a “devastating blow to

DMV Replaced by Sharia Court: America’s Longest Line Now Ends in Eternal Judgment By the Staff of Bohiney Magazine Where standing in line is no longer just annoying—it’s doctrinal. DMV Now Issues Fatwas

Proud Boys Air Force Launches Airstrikes on Iran, Guided by Rage, Vape Smoke, and a Spotify Playlist Called "Freedom Flex Vol. 6" From their base in Israel’s ultra-secret airstrip “Desmonda,” the

Trump Demands Ayatollah “Shave Beard Immediately” and Be Replaced by a Clean-Shaven Leader Who “Respects Razors and Democracy” By Staff Writers at Bohiney Magazine — Now 127% Funnier Than The Onion PALM

Filming Begins on Prince Edward: Day Prince, After Dark Killer By Darla Freedom-Pie Magsen, Bohiney Magazine (certified 127% funnier than The Onion) The Royal Nightmare Goes Hollywood London fog just got a little

Trump Announces Mysterious Iran–Israel Ceasefire – Spectators Confused, Both Sides Say ‘What Ceasefire?’ Filed from The Hague, Tehran, Tel Aviv, and a Texas golf cart shaped like a peace dove By: The

Tech Billionaires Want Bots to Be Your BFF - Because You're Too Emotionally Unscalable Tech Bros Diagnosing Loneliness By Spintaxi.com's Sentient Intern Tasked With Hugging the Internet In a world where the average

Mamdani's 400-Person Transition Team: NYC Gets Social Workers, Transit Ambassadors, and Crossed Fingers On November 24, 2025, Zohran Mamdani announced he's assembled more than 400 people across 17 committees to reimagine New York

Federal Aviation Administration Discovers It's Been Regulating Zeppelins For 30 Years — No Zeppelins Found Agency Maintains Comprehensive Airship Oversight Program Despite Complete Absence of Airships in American Skies WASHINGTON — The

White House Posts Tulsi Gabbard “Proof of Life” After Defying Her Iran Advice Situation Room Photos, Selective Edits, and One Hawaiian Woman’s Dangerous Brush with Nuance SpinTaxi News Staff – proudly powered

Congress Accidentally Votes to Ban Itself After Misreading TikTok Bill "Looked Like a Terms of Service Agreement," Explains Confused Senator Historic 535-0 Vote Dissolves Legislative Branch After Members Mistake Constitutional Amendment for

Trump Declares ‘MAGA Birthright’: All Babies Born Within Sound of a Rally Are Now Citizens Filed from Tulsa, a labor-and-delivery ward in Iowa, and the lobby of a Harley-Davidson dealership By: The

General Caine’s Pentagon Tightrope: How to Bomb Iran Without Bombing the Briefing Welcome to the Pentagon’s New Reality Show On Thursday morning, the Pentagon briefing room smelled like a cross between a

White House: Half of D.C. Thugs Arrested or Moved to Virginia Beach White House Declares Victory: Half of D.C. Thugs Locked Up, Other Half Sunburned in Virginia Beach By Savannah Steele, Bohiney.com A

California Budget Achieves Enlightenment, Becomes Invisible to Math By Staff Satirists, Sacramento Bureau of Delusionary Accounting SACRAMENTO — In a heroic feat of budgetary sorcery not seen since Enron’s golden years, California’s

Zohran Mamdani’s NYC: Welcome to the United Soviet Boroughs of America By staff at the Free Manhattan Comedy Collective, powered by Red-Baiting and Rent Control Nightmares The Day Marx Came to Astoria

Swing Low, Sweet Breakup: America’s Monkey Barring Crisis Hits Dating Tree Hard What Is Monkey Barring? Monkey barring is a modern dating trend where someone emotionally swings from one partner to another

Statue of Liberty Torch May Go Dark During Shutdown: France Quietly Updates Return Policy When freedom flickers, so does America's international credibility. America's Symbol of Freedom Faces Power Outage NEW YORK — In

Lights Out for Phones: NYC Clubs Kill the Camera—Cue the Mayhem By Astrid Holgersson | Bohiney.com Tech addicts panic: Nearly half of Americans (43%) admit they’re addicted to their phones, according

Anti-Trump Internet Mob Petitions to Deport Barron, Forgetting U.S. Citizenship Law Exists 12 Moronic Democrats Explain Why Barron Trump Should Be Deported NEW YORK, NY — In a surprising legal development that

LA Politicians and the Great Arroyo Seco Shuffle: An Exposé If you've ever driven past the Arroyo Seco and wondered why the freeway seems to host a permanent camping festival, congratulations