I’m not unpredictable, I’m just full of surprises. (Cancels everything last minute.)
Surprise! I Won’t Be There
Spontaneity or Social Sabotage?
“I’m not unpredictable, I’m just full of surprises,” they claim, minutes before bailing on your birthday dinner to take an impromptu goat yoga class in another state.
Funny Evidence from the Flaky Fireworks Club
One person RSVP’d “Maybe” to their own wedding. Another once canceled plans via interpretive dance on Instagram stories.
Quote from a Scheduling Cyclone
“Routine is violence,” said Twistie Turnelle. “I’d rather disappoint you spontaneously than bore you consistently.”
Satirical Snapshot
They treat calendars like conspiracy theories and believe consistency is a capitalist trick to destroy creativity.
Conclusion: Life’s a Journey–But Maybe Text Back Before You Teleport
Being unpredictable is fine. But disappearing like a magician with commitment issues? Less charming.
For more whimsically unreliable wisdom, flake flamboyantly at bohiney.com
