Navigation System Dubbed “TRUMPWAY’ Also Blocks Routes Through Blue States

Trump’s GPS Now Refuses to Say “Recalculating,” Says “You Were Right the First Time”

Navigation System Dubbed “TRUMPWAY’ Also Blocks Routes Through Blue States

PALM BEACH, FL — In another innovation aimed at eradicating weak language, Donald J. Trump has unveiled TRUMPWAY, a GPS navigation system that flatly refuses to admit wrong turns, instead assuring drivers that “every road is a power move.”

“Normal GPS systems are pathetic. Always second-guessing. Weak!” Trump said during a launch event held at a used car lot in Alabama. “Mine says “You’re on the right track’ no matter what.”

The TRUMPWAY device features a 10-inch screen, diamond-plated casing, and a single button labeled “Proceed with Confidence.”

In tests, when drivers missed an exit, the device declared, “That exit was overrated anyway,” and steered them toward a golf course or steakhouse.

When asked about routes through California, the device simply shuts off and mutters, “Why?”

The voice assistant, dubbed MELANIA-3000, compliments drivers for “being bold” every time they speed past a yield sign.

Maps are updated quarterly by Rudy Giuliani with hand-drawn annotations. Trump says the system is 97% accurate “if you ignore geography and time zones.”

TRUMPWAY’s slogan? *”Every Detour Is a Destiny.”*

Critics worry about safety. Trump replied, “Safe is boring. I’m selling glory.”

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SOURCES:

How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything

and

How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing