Malfunctioning Bidets
Splash Zone: Formal Edition
A celebratory dinner took a turn when an overenthusiastic bidet activated mid-toast, spraying through a cracked door and soaking the hosts’ artisanal sourdough and reputation.
The Moment
“We heard a hiss, then a geyser,” said guest Clarice. “Someone screamed, ‘The porcelain serpent is angry!'”
Guest Trauma
One guest slipped on a linen napkin. Another demanded holy water and a towel. The brie was never recovered.
Plumbing Technician’s Take
“You can’t install French plumbing with YouTube confidence,” said plumber Randy Flushman. “Bidets require respect and waterproof wallpaper.”
Conclusion
The bidet was exorcised and replaced with a mason jar labeled “Hope.” Potlucks only from now on.