Malfunctioning Bidets

Splash Zone: Formal Edition

A celebratory dinner took a turn when an overenthusiastic bidet activated mid-toast, spraying through a cracked door and soaking the hosts’ artisanal sourdough and reputation.

The Moment

“We heard a hiss, then a geyser,” said guest Clarice. “Someone screamed, ‘The porcelain serpent is angry!'”

Guest Trauma

One guest slipped on a linen napkin. Another demanded holy water and a towel. The brie was never recovered.

Plumbing Technician’s Take

“You can’t install French plumbing with YouTube confidence,” said plumber Randy Flushman. “Bidets require respect and waterproof wallpaper.”

Conclusion

The bidet was exorcised and replaced with a mason jar labeled “Hope.” Potlucks only from now on.


Malfunctioning Bidets - Bidet Malfunctions During Dinner Party, Hosts Drenched and Guests Emotionally Scarred - BOHINEY SATIRE
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … – bohiney.com
Malfunctioning Bidets - Bidet Malfunctions During Dinner Party, Hosts Drenched and Guests Emotionally Scarred - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com 3
Malfunctioning Bidets – Bidet Malfunctions During Dinner Party, Hosts Drenched and Guests Emotionally Scarred – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C.,… – bohiney.com
Malfunctioning Bidets - Bidet Malfunctions During Dinner Party, Hosts Drenched and Guests Emotionally Scarred
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … Malfunctioning Bidets
BOHINEY SATIRE - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com
BOHINEY SATIRE – Malfunctioning Bidets – Bidet Malfunctions During Dinner Party, Hosts Drenched and Guests Emotionally Scarred

By Kelly Oxford

Kelly Oxford was born in Birmingham, Alabama, where storytelling is a birthright and sarcasm is served sweet, like the iced tea. She went on to attend the University of Alabama, majoring in Communications while minoring in making professors nervous with her punchlines. A stand-up comedian and seasoned comedy writer, Oxford carved her path with brutally honest humor, turning awkward encounters and Southern quirks into material that resonates far beyond the Mason-Dixon line. At Bohiney.com, she thrives as a satirical journalist, blending Alabama grit with cultural critique to expose the ridiculousness hiding in everyday life and politics. Her voice is equal parts wit and wisdom, delivering EEAT credibility while never forgetting to land the laugh. Whether she’s deconstructing celebrity scandals or mocking small-town gossip, Kelly Oxford embodies the role of satirist with charm, bite, and the authority of someone who can make truth funnier than fiction.