Haunted Elevators
“We Bonded Over the Screams and Shared a Bag of Almonds. I Think We’re Friends Now.”
Employees at BixelTech’s downtown office got more than they bargained for this Tuesday when the building’s long-abandoned 13th floor came back online during routine elevator maintenance. Six workers, including two interns and an emotionally distant VP, were trapped for over seven hours inside the elevator–which opened only onto a floor lined with flickering lights, forgotten filing cabinets, and motivational posters written in Latin.
“It was like *The Backrooms* meets a TED Talk from Hell,” said intern Lacey, who started hallucinating a supportive fax machine named Carl around hour three. “At one point the walls whispered ‘synergy.’ We screamed in unison. It was beautiful.”
Multiple attempts to escape were thwarted by the elevator’s speaker system, which played a warped Muzak rendition of “Eye of the Tiger” and occasionally growled. The call button lit up with cryptic messages like “REPENT” and “QUARTERLY GOALS ARE DUE.”
Team-building began organically as panic subsided and hierarchy dissolved. “I watched Dave from Legal cry and hug an intern,” said Ella from HR. “I think the haunting turned him into a human.”
After six hours, the group established a miniature society, complete with roles (Snack Coordinator, Morale Captain, Ritual Overseer) and a shared journal they titled *The Thirteenth Agenda.*
Building management later claimed the 13th floor “does not exist,” and blamed the glitch on “spiritual malware” in the elevator’s firmware. They have since replaced the control panel with a Ouija board-based touchscreen interface.
As of Friday, the team refuses to use the stairs, citing a newfound “sacred respect for vertical transport.” They now meet every Thursday to burn incense and discuss shared trauma over fruit cups.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
