I’ll start my diet on Monday (eats cake Sunday night)

The Sunday Night Last Supper: Diet Procrastination Olympics

Tomorrow Is a Myth, but Cake Is Forever

“I’m starting Monday,” they say–fork-deep in red velvet and rationalizations. The diet always starts tomorrow. Meanwhile, tonight looks suspiciously like a dessert buffet sponsored by denial.

Funny Evidence from the Caloric Countdown

One woman claimed she was “mentally prepping” for her juice cleanse while eating three slices of cheesecake and a frozen lasagna appetizer.

Quote from a Tomorrow Taster

“This is my goodbye to carbs,” said Dan Fudgeworth, mid-bite. “I’m going paleo… emotionally, starting in 36 hours or so.”

Satirical Snapshot

This pattern is known as the Feast-Before-Famine cycle. Sunday is for sin, Monday is for regret, and Tuesday is for lying about it on MyFitnessPal.

Conclusion: A Diet Delayed Is Dessert Earned?

We’ve all been there. But maybe instead of planning for perfection, we plan for pizza–with moderation and a side of honesty.

For more snack-sabotage satire, bite into bohiney.com