Winners Receive Golden Microphone and Lifetime Supply of Ego Boosters
Trump Creates “No Sorry” Award for Loyal Supporters, Presented on Golf Course With Canned Applause
Winners Receive Golden Microphone and Lifetime Supply of Ego Boosters
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In an extravagant ceremony featuring fireworks, golf carts, and canned applause, Donald Trump inaugurated the “No Sorry” Award, designed to recognize supporters who embody unapologetic loyalty and unshakable confidence.
“This award celebrates those who never say sorry, never admit mistakes, and always stand tall–even if the facts say otherwise,” Trump declared while handing out gold microphones and signed copies of his latest book.
The awards ceremony included:
- A golf cart parade with floats shaped like giant red hats
- Musical performances by artists specializing in denial-themed anthems
- Live demonstrations of “blame shifting” and “victory lap” speeches
Recipients included campaign volunteers, outspoken social media personalities, and one very confused Golden Retriever named Justice.
Trump promised the award would become “the highest honor for the unapologetic,” with plans to make it an annual event streamed exclusively on Truth Social.
Critics say the award promotes denial culture; Trump responded, “Critics are just jealous they didn’t win.”
Fans are already clamoring for “No Sorry” merchandise, including hats, T-shirts, and official apology erasers.
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
