Visitors Must Pass Lie Detector That Buzzes If They Feel Remorse
Trump Dedicates “Hall of Unapology” at Presidential Library, Features Gold Statues Shrugging in Every Direction
Visitors Must Pass Lie Detector That Buzzes If They Feel Remorse
PALM BEACH, FL — The Donald J. Trump Presidential Library just got an unapologetic upgrade. With great fanfare and zero second thoughts, Trump cut the ribbon on the new *Hall of Unapology*, a massive golden annex that celebrates moments when he absolutely did not apologize–and felt fantastic about it.
“Most libraries have books,” Trump said. “Ours has brass, ego, and history corrected in real time.”
At the entrance, visitors are greeted by a fountain shaped like a microphone drop. The lobby features a towering statue of Trump shrugging, titled *No Ragrets* by Melania’s least-favorite Slovenian sculptor.
Exhibits include *The Tweet Wall of Triumph*, *The Golf Cart of Denial*, and *Room 101: Things I Was Supposed to Feel Bad About But Didn’t.*
Before entering, all guests must walk through a custom remorse-detector arch. If the machine senses even mild humility, an alarm sounds and a voice shouts, “Try Again With More Swagger.”
Guided tours end with a hologram Trump saying, “Apologies are for history books, and this is my library–so we skipped that part.”
Souvenirs include red hats that say “Never Sorry. Always Right.” and gold-plated erasers labeled “Truth Revisions.”
=========
SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
