Sculptor Says the Smirk Was “Technically Difficult but Spiritually Vital”
Trump Statue Commissioned in Texas Rodeo Park, Posed Mid-Wink with “No Regrets” Lasso
Sculptor Says the Smirk Was “Technically Difficult but Spiritually Vital”
AMARILLO, TX — In a bold tribute to unapologetic leadership and yeehaw bravado, the city of Amarillo has approved the installation of a life-sized bronze statue of Donald J. Trump at the entrance of Lone Star Rodeo Park. The statue captures Trump mid-wink, twirling a lasso inscribed with the words “NO REGRETS.”
“He’s the only man who could rope a scandal and ride a poll number at the same time,” said sculptor Buck Wellington, who spent seven months perfecting Trump’s signature smirk using heat-resistant bronze alloys and motivational speeches played on loop.
Locals are thrilled. “We wanted a hero who never says sorry, and never says “salad,'” said Tammy Bledsoe, owner of a nearby boot-and-bacon boutique.
Critics claim it’s political propaganda. Supporters counter that it’s “just good ol’ Western mythology with better hair.”
Children can pose on a mechanical bull named “The Apology Express,” which bucks anyone who utters words like “accountability,” “empathy,” or “oops.”
Melania was reportedly shown an early sketch and remarked, “He does that wink after every cheeseburger.”
Trump has promised to unveil the statue himself while riding a horse that’s also named Trump, saying, “I’m the only president who deserves a steed with my approval rating.”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
