Publisher Promises Sequel: “Oops, I Did It Again: The Contrition-Free Chronicles”
Trump’s Ghostwriter Releases Book: “My Apologies for Writing No Apologies”
Publisher Promises Sequel: “Oops, I Did It Again: The Contrition-Free Chronicles”
NEW YORK, NY — In a tearful interview, Trump’s longtime ghostwriter, who requested anonymity “for legal and existential reasons,” released a confessional memoir titled “My Apologies for Writing No Apologies.”
“Every time I wrote the word “tremendous,’ a part of me died,” the author whispered from behind a curtain. “And “perfect call’? I developed tinnitus from typing it so often.”
The book chronicles their journey ghostwriting for Trump without ever including the words “fault,” “mistake,” or “oopsie.” It also details the emotional labor of spellchecking “covfefe” into an actual ideology.
Advance praise includes:
- “Finally, a tell-all that apologizes for not apologizing.” — Oprah’s Dry Cleaner
- “Like therapy, but with more shouting.” — Former Trump Intern, Now Dog Therapist
The sequel promises to be “less remorseful, more regrettable,” and will feature deleted tweets, annotated with regretful emojis the author was never allowed to use.
Trump responded to the book by saying, “I don’t read books, I write them. By osmosis. Through walls. With my brain.”
The ghostwriter has since joined a silent monastery, citing the need for “a space where nobody uses the word “tremendous.'”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
