Kate vs Rose: Royal Infidelity
An Investigative Report
By: Bohiney.com Investigative Humor Desk
A Royal Rumor That Refuses to Die
It was a Tuesday in 2019 when the whispers started. Not the usual palace whispers—those were about changing curtains, serving the wrong scones, or which corgi had peed on the Queen’s favorite rug. No, these whispers were different. They spoke of a scandal so audacious that even Buckingham Palace’s security cameras tilted slightly in disbelief. Prince William, heir to the throne, allegedly embarked on a clandestine affair with none other than Rose Hanbury, the Marchioness of Cholmondeley—a woman whose fashion sense allegedly mirrors Princess Kate’s so precisely that historians now theorize she might be a secret royal clone.
This story isn’t just about cheating; it’s a multi-layered onion of jealousy, couture mimicry, whispering staff, and corgi surveillance. And we’re here to peel it back layer by layer, with evidence, faux experts, and observational humor. What began as idle gossip morphed into a full-scale investigation involving spreadsheets, therapy sessions, accidental text projections, and dogs with better judgment than most humans.
The alleged affair has spawned countless theories, from the ridiculous to the sublime. Some believe Rose was a master manipulator, others think Kate overreacted to innocent friendship, and a third camp insists the corgis orchestrated the entire thing for better table scraps. Regardless of truth, the saga continues to captivate millions who feast on royal drama like vultures at a particularly fancy buffet.
The Spreadsheet of Betrayal: Kate’s Emotional Accounting
According to anonymous palace aides (who we’ve sworn to keep unnamed because they signed a “blood oath” with invisible ink), Kate created what insiders call the “Affair Tracker Spreadsheet.” Every rumored Rose sighting, every alleged flirty glance from William, and even suspicious text notifications were color-coded, annotated with emojis ranging from 😡 to 💔. One source claims that at one particularly tense brunch, Kate updated the spreadsheet in real-time, muttering, “If she wears those green heels again, it’s 50 points against loyalty.”
The spreadsheet allegedly included tabs for “Suspicious Glances,” “Text Message Timestamps,” “Fashion Violations,” and “Corgi Judgment Scores.” Each entry was meticulously documented with the precision of an accountant auditing a tax-dodging billionaire. Kate reportedly consulted the spreadsheet daily, sometimes updating it during royal engagements, which led to several awkward moments where she accidentally projected Excel formulas onto charity event screens.
As comedian Jerry Seinfeld said about relationship tracking, “You know you’re in trouble when you need a database to manage your feelings.” Social scientists from the Institute of Observational Royal Behavior, citing our extensive monitoring of palace staff Instagram captions, suggest this may be the first documented instance of a spreadsheet used for emotional revenge. They’ve since recommended Kate’s system be taught in business schools as a case study in strategic relationship management.
Palace IT staff reportedly struggled to keep up with Kate’s data demands. One anonymous technician said, “She wanted real-time alerts, push notifications, and data visualization dashboards. We had to install enterprise-level software just to track her husband’s alleged indiscretions. It was like building a missile defense system for marital problems.”
The Color-Coding System Explained
Sources close to Kate revealed the intricate color-coding system she employed. Red indicated “Code Red: Immediate Threat,” yellow meant “Suspicious But Inconclusive,” green was “False Alarm: Just Talking About Horses,” and purple, disturbingly, meant “Rose Wore My Outfit Again: Prepare Legal Countermeasures.” The purple alerts became so frequent that palace staff began referring to Thursdays as “Purple Alert Day” because Rose inevitably showed up somewhere wearing something Kate-adjacent.
The spreadsheet also included a “Probability Algorithm” that calculated the likelihood of infidelity based on variables like text frequency, social media interactions, and the number of times William mentioned “squirrel diplomacy” in a single week. Advanced machine learning wasn’t involved, but Kate’s intuition and rage made up for any technological shortfalls.
Counseling Roulette: Therapy with a Twist
Palace records (which we totally fabricated for comedic effect) indicate William and Kate entered counseling in 2019. But sessions were anything but ordinary. One witness claims that the royal therapist, Dr. Penelope Scone, frequently dozed off mid-session, mumbling “Just breathe…maybe he likes your hat,” leaving William to practice passive-aggressive silence techniques.
Dr. Scone, a licensed therapist with degrees from institutions we won’t name for legal reasons, specialized in “Royal Relationship Reconciliation,” a niche field that combines traditional couples therapy with etiquette training and corgi-assisted emotional support. Her methods were unconventional: instead of asking William and Kate to express feelings, she’d ask them to reenact arguments using hand puppets. William’s puppet, a mustachioed aristocrat named Lord Whiskerton, frequently deflected blame onto imaginary squirrels.
A corgi named Sir Fluffington, appointed unofficial royal therapist, reportedly judged William silently during every meeting. Eye witnesses (the palace staff who double as dog walkers) report he sighed loudly whenever William uttered the words “I was negotiating squirrel diplomacy.” Sir Fluffington’s therapeutic approach involved staring, sighing, and occasionally knocking over water glasses when William’s excuses became too outlandish.
Amy Schumer once noted about couples therapy, “Therapy is just paying someone to tell you you’re both wrong in slightly different ways.” In this case, even the dog agreed. Sir Fluffington’s judgment was so palpable that palace staff began placing bets on how long he could maintain eye contact before William cracked. The record stands at 37 minutes.
Therapy Exercises Gone Wrong
One particularly disastrous session involved a “trust fall” exercise. William was supposed to fall backward into Kate’s arms, demonstrating vulnerability and trust. Instead, Kate allegedly stepped aside at the last second, letting William crash into a potted fern. “I trusted you not to cheat, and look how that turned out,” she reportedly said, brushing fern leaves off her designer dress. Dr. Scone scribbled furiously in her notebook, later diagnosing the incident as “acute symbolic resentment with horticultural consequences.”
Another exercise required the couple to write love letters to each other, then read them aloud. William’s letter allegedly began, “Dear Kate, you are as lovely as a well-groomed horse,” which did not go over well. Kate’s letter was a single sentence: “I know what you did.” Dr. Scone suggested they try again next week, perhaps with less equine imagery and more actual remorse.
Rose: Fashion’s Most Calculated Threat
Observers note that Rose’s outfits mirrored Kate’s wardrobe to an almost absurd degree. One insider allegedly told a tabloid: “Every time she steps out, it’s like Kate’s ghost is judging her through sequins and silk scarves.” Analysts from the International Institute of Couture Espionage (IICE) determined that Rose’s outfit duplication reaches a 92.7% accuracy rate, making her the perfect spy in the royal fashion war.
This mirrored style, combined with her social proximity to the royal family, allegedly forced Kate to “phase her out” of events—a phrase insiders confirm is royal code for “Do not let her eat the cucumber sandwiches in your presence.” The phasing-out process was gradual but deliberate. First, Rose stopped receiving invitations to intimate garden parties. Then, her seat at charity galas mysteriously disappeared. Finally, palace staff were instructed to redirect her mail to a PO Box in Wales, effectively ghosting her in the most British way possible.
Ron White said about style copying, “If someone’s wearing your exact outfit, either you’re in a cult or someone’s messing with you.” Kate clearly chose option two. Fashion experts noted that Rose’s mimicry extended beyond clothing to accessories, hairstyles, and even the angle at which she held her teacup. “It’s like watching a high-society doppelganger experiment,” said one fashion columnist. “If Rose showed up in Kate’s skin suit, I wouldn’t be shocked.”
The Green Heel Incident
The infamous “green heel incident” became a turning point in the Kate-Rose cold war. Rose appeared at a charity luncheon wearing emerald green stilettos identical to a pair Kate had worn the week prior. Kate, seated across the room, allegedly locked eyes with Rose for what felt like an eternity. Witnesses describe the moment as “a silent scream wrapped in pearls and passive aggression.” Kate later donated her green heels to charity, not out of generosity, but to ensure Rose could never claim she wore them first.
Fashion historians now refer to this as the “Heel Heard ‘Round the Kingdom,” a moment that encapsulated the pettiness and precision of royal rivalries. The Metropolitan Museum of Art reportedly inquired about acquiring the heels for an exhibit on “Fashion as Weaponry,” but Kate declined, stating they were “evidence in an ongoing emotional investigation.”
The Paparazzi Olympics: Chasing Shadows
The affair sparked what we now call the Paparazzi Olympics. Journalists competed for the tiniest glimpse of William and Rose together. One witness reported seeing a photographer sprint 200 meters in a ball gown while balancing a camera and a thermos of Earl Grey tea—pure dedication. The event was later immortalized in a viral TikTok video titled “Royal Scandal Fitness Challenge,” which garnered 47 million views and spawned a fitness trend involving sprinting in formal wear.
Medals were awarded in absurd categories: Best Candid Glance, Most Suspicious Tea Sip, and Longest Gaze at Royal Backside. Social media users eagerly participated in betting pools, using emojis as currency. Winners received nothing tangible, but the bragging rights were considered more valuable than actual gold medals. The International Olympic Committee reportedly considered adding “Royal Scandal Coverage” as an official sport for the 2028 games, citing its popularity and cardiovascular benefits.
Dave Chappelle observed about media obsession, “The news doesn’t report stories anymore, they create reality shows and call it journalism.” The palace affair proved him prophetic. News outlets deployed drones, hired lip-readers, and even trained AI algorithms to detect body language cues indicating romantic interest. One tabloid claimed to have developed “Affair Vision™,” a proprietary technology that could identify infidelity from satellite images. Spoiler: it was just Photoshop.
The Telephoto Lens Arms Race
As competition intensified, photographers invested in increasingly absurd equipment. One paparazzo allegedly mounted a 1200mm telephoto lens on a mobility scooter, creating what colleagues dubbed “The Scandal Cannon.” Another rigged a camera to a trained falcon, hoping to capture aerial footage of secret rendezvous. The falcon, however, proved more interested in pigeons than princes, rendering the experiment a failure but providing excellent comedy for bystanders.
The arms race culminated in the “Great Garden Party Stakeout of 2019,” where 47 photographers camped outside a Norfolk estate for three days, hoping to capture William and Rose in the same frame. They succeeded in photographing William, Rose, Kate, several confused corgis, and a gardener named Harold who accidentally became a meme. Harold later monetized his accidental fame with a YouTube channel called “Gardening with Harold: Royal Edition.”
The Great Corgi-Observation: Dogs Know All
Palace corgis have emerged as the most reliable witnesses in this saga. One anonymous staffer claims Sir Fluffington stared at William for 37 minutes straight during a particularly tense dinner, finally barking once—widely interpreted as either “You know what you did” or “Dinner is ready.” The bark was later analyzed by canine behavior specialists who concluded it carried “significant judgmental undertones with a hint of disappointment.”
Dog psychologists (consulted via Zoom) theorize that corgis possess a unique sensitivity to marital discord. “We’ve never seen such intensity in tail-wagging behavior,” one faux expert commented. “This is like Pavlovian judgment meets high-society pettiness.” The expert went on to explain that corgis, having been bred for centuries in royal households, developed an evolutionary trait for detecting infidelity, making them more reliable than lie detectors or expensive private investigators.
Kevin Hart said about pet judgment, “Your dog knows when you’re lying. That’s why they stare at you like that—they’re the FBI of your house.” Sir Fluffington was clearly head of palace security. Other corgis joined the surveillance effort, forming what staff called the “Corgi Intelligence Agency.” They’d position themselves strategically during royal events, observing interactions and reporting back to Sir Fluffington via a complex system of barks, tail wags, and pointed stares.
The Corgi Dossier
Rumor has it that the corgis compiled a dossier on William’s behavior, documented through pawprints on important documents and strategically chewed slippers. One slipper, belonging to William, was found shredded outside Rose’s favorite visiting room, which corgi behaviorists interpreted as a “warning shot across the bow.” Another corgi, Lady Biscuit, allegedly marked territory near William’s study, a move palace staff understood as “claiming ownership in the name of Kate.”
The corgis’ involvement became so legendary that a satirical HBO series was proposed, tentatively titled “Corgi Spies: Tales from the Palace.” Producers envisioned a combination of espionage thriller and animal documentary, narrated by a gravelly-voiced corgi with a vendetta. The series never materialized, but the concept lives on in internet fan fiction communities.
Texting Misadventures: Accidental Projections
William allegedly attempted to text Rose discreetly. Unfortunately, due to a palace IT glitch, his messages were projected on Buckingham Palace walls during a state dinner. Guests reported seeing phrases like “Can’t wait to discuss the tulip arrangement 😏” and “Do you like my new brogues?” The incident caused immediate chaos. Ambassadors looked around confused, waiters dropped trays, and Kate’s expression reportedly shifted from “polite smile” to “nuclear winter” in 0.3 seconds.
Anonymous aides claimed it was “embarrassing but educational,” as royal children began learning “new vocabulary in context.” Linguists have since cited this as an innovative, though unintended, educational moment. Prince George allegedly asked, “What’s a tulip arrangement, Daddy?” prompting William to flee the room muttering something about urgent squirrel negotiations.
Bill Burr noted about text message disasters, “Texting is the worst invention ever because now there’s permanent proof you’re an idiot.” William learned this the hardest way possible. The palace IT team scrambled to disable the projection system, but not before several state dinner attendees snapped photos with their smartphones. Those photos were later sold to tabloids for undisclosed sums, funding at least three IT staff retirements.
The Emoji Analysis
Digital forensics experts analyzed the projected texts, paying particular attention to emoji usage. The tulip emoji, when combined with the smirking face, was deemed “highly suspicious and indicative of coded language.” One expert from the Institute of Digital Communication Studies claimed, “This isn’t about gardening. This is about clandestine meetings disguised as horticultural discussions.” The expert’s report was 47 pages long and included a detailed taxonomy of suspicious plant emojis.
William’s follow-up text, “The roses need pruning 🌹,” was interpreted as either a genuine gardening concern or a reference to Rose Hanbury herself. Palace gardeners were questioned extensively, confirming that no roses were scheduled for pruning that week, thus deepening the conspiracy. One gardener said, “We prune in spring, not autumn. This whole thing stinks of metaphor.”
Affair Bingo and Social Media Frenzy
Social media users turned the scandal into an interactive game called Affair Bingo. Squares included “William makes awkward eye contact with Kate,” “Rose appears in green shoes,” and “Corgi judges silently.” Winners reportedly received nothing, but the sense of civic participation in royal scandal management was priceless. The game became so popular that entrepreneurs launched apps, merchandise, and even live-streamed “Bingo Parties” where participants watched royal events together, cards in hand, hoping to score a blackout.
Twitter polls allegedly measured public sentiment: 87% of respondents believed William was “probably texting someone,” 9% believed it was a squirrel, and 4% were genuinely confused about palace hierarchy. One poll asked, “Do you think the corgis should testify?” with 63% voting “Yes, under oath.” Another poll inquired, “Is Rose Hanbury a fashion spy?” and received a split decision, with 51% saying “Obviously” and 49% saying “Obviously, but sympathetically.”
Chris Rock said about public scandals, “Everybody’s got an opinion about stuff that ain’t got nothing to do with them.” The affair bingo proved humanity will gamify anything. Entire Reddit communities formed around analyzing every pixelated photograph, every cryptic Instagram caption, and every alleged sighting. One subreddit, r/RoyalTea, amassed 800,000 members dedicated to dissecting the scandal frame by frame, emoji by emoji.
The Merchandise Boom
Enterprising vendors capitalized on the scandal by producing t-shirts with slogans like “Team Kate,” “Justice for Rose,” and “Sir Fluffington for Prime Minister.” Coffee mugs featured Kate’s alleged spreadsheet layout, while tote bags bore the phrase “Phased Out But Not Forgotten.” One Etsy shop reported selling over 10,000 “Corgi Judgment” stickers in a single week, prompting the owner to quit their day job and become a full-time royal scandal merch designer.
The most controversial product was a board game titled “Affair: The Game of Royal Betrayal,” where players competed to navigate palace intrigue, avoid paparazzi, and strategically deploy corgis. The game received mixed reviews, with some praising its satirical brilliance and others condemning it as tasteless. Nevertheless, it sold out within days, proving that scandal sells, especially when packaged with tiny corgi figurines.
Phased Out but Not Forgotten
Despite Rose being “phased out,” her aura apparently lingers. Kate reportedly experiences flashbacks during every royal event, seeing Rose’s silhouette in mirrors, reflections, and occasionally in the silverware pattern. One former aide reported that Kate carries a miniature “Rose Radar” device, a fanciful contraption that allegedly beeps whenever Rose is within five meters. The device, custom-built by palace engineers, was described as “half security system, half emotional support tool.”
Ali Wong said about jealousy, “Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time with a GPS tracker attached.” Kate’s radar confirms this perfectly. The device reportedly malfunctioned during a garden party when it beeped near a woman named Rosemary, causing Kate to spill champagne on a visiting dignitary. Palace PR spun the incident as “an unfortunate sneeze,” but insiders knew the truth.
The phasing-out process wasn’t just social; it was architectural. Palace staff allegedly rearranged furniture to ensure Kate never accidentally sat where Rose once sat. Rooms Rose visited were “energetically cleansed” by a hired spiritualist who burned sage and muttered incantations about “banishing bad vibes and questionable fashion choices.” The spiritualist later published a book titled “Cleansing the Crown: A Guide to Royal Emotional Detox,” which became a surprise bestseller.
The Mirror Incident
One particularly unsettling moment occurred when Kate reportedly saw Rose’s reflection in a gilded mirror during a state banquet. The reflection lasted only a second, but Kate’s reaction—dropping her fork and gasping audibly—became the subject of intense speculation. Some claimed it was a genuine apparition, others suggested exhaustion, and conspiracy theorists proposed that Rose had mastered astral projection to haunt Kate remotely.
A paranormal investigator, hired discreetly by palace staff, determined the mirror was “emotionally charged” due to years of royal drama. “This mirror has seen it all,” the investigator said dramatically, waving a EMF detector around the frame. “It’s practically a portal to past grievances.” The mirror was subsequently relocated to a storage room, where it presumably continues to reflect nothing but dust and forgotten scandals.
Royal Comparisons: Charles, Diana, and Instagram Drama
Tabloids draw comparisons to King Charles’ affair with Camilla during his marriage to Princess Diana—but with more modern flair. Kate’s misery, paired with William’s apparent obliviousness, now forms the basis of a Netflix docuseries proposal titled Corgis, Couture, and Conspiracy: The Palace Affair Chronicles. Netflix executives allegedly salivated over the pitch, envisioning a blend of The Crown and Keeping Up with the Kardashians, complete with dramatic reenactments and corgi-cam footage.
Experts in royal history claim this story will redefine monarchy studies: “It’s like Shakespeare meets Keeping Up with the Corgis,” one faux historian declared. University courses on “Modern Royal Scandals” now include modules on spreadsheet-based revenge, fashion espionage, and the role of social media in amplifying marital discord. Students are required to create their own satirical analyses, leading to a surge in comedy writing majors.
Trevor Noah observed about royal scandals, “The royal family is just rich people problems with better hats and worse tabloids.” This affair elevated both categories. The hats became more elaborate, the tabloids more shameless, and the public more invested than ever. Comparisons to Diana were inevitable, but this scandal had a distinctly 21st-century flavor: less tragic, more meme-worthy, and infinitely more documented.
Diana’s Ghost and Modern Media
Some spiritualists claimed Diana’s ghost influenced events from beyond, orchestrating the exposure of William’s alleged infidelity as cosmic payback for her own suffering. While this theory lacks evidence, it gained traction on paranormal forums and was featured in a low-budget documentary titled Diana’s Revenge: A Ghostly Reckoning. The documentary included blurry footage of Kensington Palace, ominous narration, and zero credible sources, making it a cult hit among conspiracy enthusiasts.
Meanwhile, Kate’s handling of the scandal was frequently compared to Diana’s grace under pressure. “Diana had paparazzi; Kate has paparazzi plus Twitter trolls,” one commentator noted. “It’s exponentially harder to maintain dignity when every emoji you use is analyzed by armchair psychologists.” Indeed, Kate’s Instagram posts were dissected with forensic intensity, with users debating whether a slightly cropped photo of a bouquet signaled hidden rage or just poor framing.
Secret Handshakes, Imaginary Edicts, and Spy Etiquette
Staff report that William and Rose allegedly practiced clandestine handshakes in palace corridors. One witness claims, “It looked like a secret spy ritual, complete with winks and silent nods.” The handshake allegedly involved three taps, a wrist twist, and a finger snap, leading some to speculate that William and Rose were members of a secret society. More likely, they were just awkward and making things weirder than necessary.
Meanwhile, Kate supposedly issued invisible edicts banning Rose from brunches, afternoon teas, and any event featuring cucumber sandwiches or tiered scones. The edicts were never written down, communicated instead through pointed glances and strategic seating arrangements. Palace event planners became experts in “diplomatic distancing,” ensuring Kate and Rose were never closer than 50 meters at any gathering.
Ricky Gervais said about secret communication, “When two people share a secret look, everyone else in the room knows something’s up. You’re not as subtle as you think.” Palace staff confirmed this observation repeatedly. They could identify “the look” from across crowded ballrooms, often placing bets on whether it meant “I see you texting” or “Your tie is crooked, but I’m still mad.”
The Scone Wars
The banning of Rose from scone-centric events became known as “The Scone Wars,” a petty yet devastating campaign. Rose, an alleged scone enthusiast, found herself excluded from the annual Royal Tea Society Gala, the Bakewell Charity Auction, and even informal garden brunches. One insider claimed Rose attempted to smuggle scones into an event by hiding them in her purse, only to be thwarted by a vigilant corgi who smelled butter and ratted her out.
Kate’s scone strategy was ruthless but effective. By controlling access to baked goods, she asserted dominance in the only currency that mattered: carbohydrates. Food historians later documented this as “one of the most passive-aggressive uses of pastry in recorded history,” placing it alongside Marie Antoinette’s infamous cake comment and Henry VIII’s banquet politics.
Therapy Confusion and Role Reversal
In a twist of absurdity, Kate and Rose allegedly engaged in role-reversal exercises, swapping lives for a week to understand each other’s perspective. William reportedly forgot he was married for three of those days. Staff note that the role-reversal was “therapeutically confusing but excellent for Instagram content.” Photos of Kate dressed as Rose and Rose dressed as Kate circulated online, prompting debates about identity, fashion, and whether this was genuine therapy or performance art.
During the swap, Kate attended Rose’s social engagements, while Rose handled Kate’s royal duties. Kate reportedly excelled at being Rose, attending charity luncheons with alarming enthusiasm, while Rose struggled with royal protocols, curtsying to a potted plant she mistook for a minor duchess. The experiment ended when William, genuinely confused, almost kissed Rose thinking she was Kate, prompting an emergency session with Dr. Scone.
Sarah Silverman said about therapy experiments, “Therapy is great until your therapist suggests something so weird you start questioning their degree.” This role-swap qualified as maximum weird. Dr. Scone defended her methods, citing “experimental relational psychology,” but palace staff suspected she was just winging it.
The Aftermath of Role Reversal
The role-reversal left lasting psychological scars. Kate claimed she “saw too much” during her week as Rose, including an unsettling number of texts from confused aristocrats who thought she was actually Rose. Rose, meanwhile, developed newfound respect for Kate’s responsibilities, admitting “royal waving is harder than it looks.” The two women allegedly bonded briefly over shared exhaustion before remembering they were supposed to hate each other.
William emerged from the experiment more confused than ever, leading palace staff to recommend remedial training on “recognizing your wife.” A short course was developed, featuring flashcards, photos, and a corgi-assisted memory game. William passed with a barely acceptable score, proving that even princes can struggle with basic observation skills.
The Enduring Saga of Infidelity, Fashion, and Corgis
The William-Kate-Rose affair is a perfect storm of infidelity, mirrored fashion, corgi judgment, therapy misadventures, and social media frenzy. Every brunch, glance, and embroidered glove seems to echo the ongoing saga. As our investigations reveal, palace life is both absurd and tragic, a soap opera played out in velvet, scones, and subtle eye rolls.
Whether Rose was truly involved, or merely the victim of speculative couture espionage, remains debated. But the lessons are clear: in the modern monarchy, style is a weapon, corgis are loyal witnesses, and spreadsheets can be more effective than swords. The affair has become a cultural touchstone, referenced in comedy sketches, academic papers, and even wedding toasts where couples joke about “avoiding a Rose situation.”
The scandal also highlighted the absurdity of celebrity culture, where every gesture is magnified, every outfit analyzed, and every relationship dissected by strangers with too much time and Wi-Fi. It revealed humanity’s insatiable appetite for drama, particularly drama involving attractive people in expensive clothing making questionable decisions.
And remember: if your prince texts under the table, the corgis see all. They judge, they remember, and they absolutely will leak information to tabloids if the treats aren’t up to standard.
Jim Gaffigan summed it up perfectly: “Rich people problems are still problems, they’re just problems that make you look ridiculous while you’re having them.” This royal affair proved that truth magnificently. From spreadsheets to scone wars, from corgi surveillance to accidental text projections, the saga demonstrated that wealth and status don’t immunize anyone from looking absolutely foolish in matters of the heart.
Disclaimer: This story is a satirical collaboration between two sentient beings—the world’s oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer. Any resemblance to actual events, living or dead, is purely coincidental and completely ridiculous. No corgis were harmed in the making of this investigation, though several received extra treats for their invaluable contributions.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
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