Diplomats argue rock shows more restraint than most members
Sentient Space Rock Nominated for UN Human Rights Council
In a surprise motion during an emergency session, the United Nations debated adding Meteor-X to the Human Rights Council. Proponents cited the rock’s consistent silence, nonviolence, and ability to not interrupt people during Zoom calls as evidence of superior diplomacy. “This meteorite has harmed no one, started no wars, and doesn’t tweet,” said the ambassador from New Zealand. China abstained from the vote, while the US opposed it on the grounds that “the rock still refuses to take a stance on TikTok bans.” Russia countered by nominating a brick. Meteor-X, true to form, did not attend the session but was seen gently glowing above Geneva. A final vote is scheduled for next lunar eclipse.