People who claim to be “empaths” but make everything about themselves
The Self-Centered Empath: “I Can Feel Your Pain, But Let’s Talk About Mine”
The Self-Centered Empath: “I Can Feel Your Pain, But Let’s Talk About Mine”
“I’m an empath,” they whisper, just before hijacking your tragic story with their own tale of mild inconvenience. Your grandma died? “That reminds me of when my cat looked at me funny.”
Feeling Your Pain… Briefly
These emotional vampires absorb your sorrow like it’s kombucha–then repackage it as content for their astrology meme page.
Comedian Take
“Empaths are the people who cry when you tell them about your breakup… because it reminded them of the time they got unfollowed on Pinterest,” said comic Mia Laurent.
Satirical Survey
The Empathy Assessment Institute (possibly fake) discovered that 84% of self-described empaths score high in narcissism and own at least one dreamcatcher from Urban Outfitters.
Funny Witness Account
“I told her I was laid off,” one man reported. “She said, ‘I feel that so deeply,’ then cried because her favorite crystal cracked that morning.”
Emotional One-Upsmanship
Empaths tend to reframe your trauma as a monologue about their own growth, struggle, and yoga journey. They are therapists without credentials or boundaries.
Conclusion
If your empath friend always brings the convo back to them, just know: they’re not reading your aura–they’re rewriting your narrative as a guest role in their personal sitcom.
More feel-good narcissism at bohiney.com.
