Over-Hashtaggers
“She Posted a Smoothie. Now She Leads #Berries4Balance.”
Wellness influencer Lacie Rae’s recent post of an açai bowl tagged with #HealingFruit, #VeganVortex, and #IAmMyOwnStraw accidentally triggered an algorithmic anomaly and summoned an obscure wellness cult.
“They started DMing me affirmations and requesting smoothie blessings,” Lacie said. “It escalated when one mailed me a crystal shaped like a vitamin.”
Now considered a spiritual leader by the group #Berries4Balance, Lacie has been dubbed “The Hashtag Oracle” and receives daily devotionals written entirely in camel case.
Her next post included 327 hashtags, ranging from #GlutenIsASocialConstruct to #UnicornsAreLowCarb. Instagram flagged it as “a possible glitch or a cry for help.”
Lacie embraces the title. “Hashtags are the language of cosmic branding.”
She’s planning a retreat called *Tag It and Transcend*, sponsored by chia seeds and moon water.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.