I’m not difficult, I just have high standards. (No one ever qualifies.)
The Standard Bearer of Solitude
Gold-Plated Expectations with a Velvet Rope
“I’m not difficult, I just have high standards,” they say, while rejecting anyone under 6’3″, without a yacht, or who doesn’t know the difference between “there,” “their,” and “emotional availability.”
Funny Evidence from the Picky Elite
One person ended a date because the fork “felt judgmental.” Another dismissed a soulmate for wearing cargo shorts unironically.
Quote from a Romantic Gatekeeper
“I’m not asking for much,” said Stella NoCompromise. “Just someone who’s funny, deep, rich, kind, mysterious, responsive, aloof, and looks like a Hemsworth.”
Satirical Snapshot
They want someone spontaneous but also punctual, sensitive but rugged, and ready for commitment by the third appetizer.
Conclusion: Standards Are Healthy–Until They’re a Fortress
If no one is ever good enough, maybe the problem isn’t height, it’s perspective.
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