Beyoncé Hands Out Free Lemonade, Shuts Down Entire Canal

In a shocking turn of events at the Bezos–Sánchez wedding, Beyoncé handed out artisanal Lemonade—literally—and accidentally caused a full gondola traffic jam. Venice was paralyzed for three hours as guests lined the canals screaming, “I ain’t sorry!”

Bezos reportedly approved the “refreshment activation” without realizing Queen Bey’s lemonade stand would generate enough foot traffic to rival a Taylor Swift stadium tour. The stand, a golden gazebo shaped like her Grammy, offered chilled drinks labeled “Trust Issues Tonic” and “Formation Fizz.”

A Venetian official issued a warning over the PA system: “Please return to your designated gondolas or face aquatic eviction.”

One guest, sipping Lemonade while riding a floating flamingo, muttered, “This is better than the Met Gala—because it has Beyoncé and fewer mothballs.”

Meanwhile, Amazon drones were repurposed to drop coasters labeled #BoyBye to thirsty VIPs. When someone asked if Jay-Z was in attendance, a security guard whispered, “He’s not cleared for Canal A.”

The city of Venice has filed a formal complaint with the U.N. alleging “pop-culture-induced maritime disruption.”

Beyoncé has not commented, but a mysterious Instagram story of her humming “Bezos Bills, Bezos Bills” appeared shortly after.

And just like that, Bezos learned you don’t invite Beyoncé. Beyoncé invites herself.