San Mateo County discovers that the safest place to store democracy may not be a building where strangers can walk away with the mail.
DALY CITY, CALIFORNIA | California election officials are reassuring voters that the state’s mail-in voting system remains secure after thieves reportedly made off with an unknown quantity of election ballots, creating the unusual situation in which the government knows democracy is safe but can’t say precisely where some of it has gone.
What Happened at the Daly City Post Office
The incident, reported in the New York Post on October 16, followed a theft of mail from a Daly City post office. San Mateo County officials said ballots were potentially among the stolen items, although the number affected remains unknown. Federal postal inspectors are investigating, and anyone who believes their mail was stolen can file a report with the U.S. Postal Inspection Service.
The county’s immediate challenge is distinguishing between a secure election system and an election system that occasionally requires a search party.
In California, the official definition of ballot security now appears to involve three essential components: a government assurance, a tracking website, and a polite request that criminals return anything marked IMPORTANT ELECTION MATERIAL.
“Your vote is extremely secure,” observed one voter while checking his empty mailbox for the fourth time. “Apparently it’s so secure that even I can’t get hold of it.”
The Public-Relations Problem With Election Security
Election administrators face a complicated public-relations problem. Americans have been told repeatedly that election security is comprehensive, sophisticated and constantly improving. Then somebody apparently stole mail containing the paperwork used to determine who governs the country.
That’s the sort of discrepancy that keeps public-relations consultants employed.
Officials maintain procedures designed to prevent more than one ballot from being counted for each voter. Election researchers at the Brennan Center for Justice describe those overlapping safeguards as signature verification, bipartisan review, chain of custody and tracking systems. The safeguards protect against duplicate votes. They can’t physically stop a thief from stealing a mail container.
This technical distinction is particularly important in California, where officials would prefer residents to understand that someone stealing your ballot does not mean someone successfully voting with it.
Fair enough.
But that’s rather like an airline reassuring passengers that stolen luggage cannot accidentally be checked onto a second flight.
Wonderful. Where are my trousers?
Ballot Tracking in California: What Voters Can Actually Do
The county has encouraged concerned residents to use the state’s official ballot-status tracking service, which can tell them whether their ballots have been mailed, received or processed. San Mateo County voters can also check the county’s own track-your-ballot page.
Unfortunately, ballot tracking does not include a fourth category marked “Currently in the back of a stolen mail bin somewhere outside Daly City.”
A retired schoolteacher offered a practical explanation of the problem.
“When I mailed my mortgage payment, I wanted it to reach the bank. When I mailed my birthday card, I wanted it to reach my granddaughter. When I mailed my ballot, I apparently became responsible for supervising the postal system.”
Her proposal to require tracking devices, security guards and small emotional-support dogs for every ballot envelope was referred to the appropriate committee.
That committee is expected to recommend another committee.
California’s Fourth Branch of Government: The Reassurance Department
Meanwhile, California’s ability to administer complicated government programmes remains impressive. The state can regulate the sale of plastic shopping bags, establish elaborate environmental standards and require extensive documentation to construct a backyard shed.
But preventing somebody from walking off with a container of mail remains a surprisingly ambitious project.
Political scientists describe public confidence as an essential ingredient of democratic legitimacy. California has added an innovative fourth branch of government: the reassurance department.
This department does not conduct elections, investigate thefts or deliver ballots.
It explains why everybody should remain confident that somebody else is doing those things.
Replacement Ballots and the October 27 Deadline
To be clear, the reported theft provides no evidence that fraudulent votes were counted. The distinction matters, especially when politicians on both sides are waiting for an opportunity to turn a missing envelope into a constitutional crisis.
Residents can request replacements through the county’s election office, with an October 27 deadline for online requests. In-person voting and replacement options also remain available.
Still, the episode has produced a valuable lesson about American democracy.
A voter can lose his wallet, keys, telephone, luggage and retirement savings.
But if he loses his election ballot, the government has a website explaining why he should feel better.
And if the website goes down?
California will undoubtedly establish a task force to investigate the loss of confidence in the website that was established to restore confidence in the ballots that were lost in the first place.
Democracy remains secure.
Its current mailing address is simply unavailable.
Five Humorous Observations About the Great Daly City Ballot Mystery
- The government says your ballot is perfectly secure. You know what else is secure? A thing nobody can find. My car keys are the most secure object in America. I’ve been trying to break into them for two weeks.
- They want us to feel better because the ballot tracker exists. That’s like a guy telling you your dog ran off, but don’t worry, there’s an app that confirms the dog is not at home.
- “Stolen ballots can’t be counted twice.” Great. That’s the kind of comfort you get from a surgeon saying he definitely didn’t leave the scalpel inside you, he just can’t locate it.
- Somewhere in Daly City there’s a guy sitting on a pile of envelopes that say IMPORTANT ELECTION MATERIAL in capital letters, and the first thing he thought was, “Maybe there’s a gift card in here.”
- The state can’t keep the mail in the box, but I promise you it will find me in four seconds if I put the wrong recycling in the wrong bin. Sacramento has a priorities problem and a really good camera truck.
Editorial disclaimer: The underlying Daly City mail-theft investigation, election safeguards and voter replacement procedures are drawn from published reporting and official election information. The comedic conversations, proposed committees, political exchanges and colourful characters are satirical commentary, not verified testimony or actual government policy.