California’s political parties discover that the difference between election security and election fraud depends largely on which argument is winning.
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA | California Republicans have seized upon reports of missing mail-in ballots as evidence that the state’s election procedures require greater scrutiny, while Democrats face the increasingly difficult task of explaining how the theft of election material can be a serious criminal matter and also no particular reason to question the election.
The Daly City Mail Theft and the Partisan Reaction
The controversy follows an October 14 report of mail theft at a Daly City post office, where an unknown number of ballots may have been among the stolen items. The county’s official ballot-theft announcement confirms that federal postal inspectors are investigating, but establishes no fraudulent voting. Mail theft is investigated by the U.S. Postal Inspection Service, which takes reports from the public.
For Republicans, the episode has raised a familiar question.
If ballots are secure, why can somebody steal them?
For Democrats, the preferred question is slightly different.
If somebody steals a ballot but doesn’t successfully vote with it, why can’t Republicans stop complaining?
Both questions have considerable political merit, provided nobody attempts to answer them simultaneously.
Strategists Weigh In on Stolen Ballots and Election Security
A Republican campaign strategist explained that the theft demonstrates the need for increased ballot security.
“First they told us the ballots couldn’t be stolen. Now they’re telling us that even if they’re stolen, it doesn’t count as a problem unless the thief remembers to fill them out. At this rate the criminal will qualify for a government grant.”
Democratic political consultants, meanwhile, have adopted a more philosophical approach.
“Just because something has been stolen doesn’t mean somebody stole it for an unlawful electoral purpose. We believe in looking at the evidence before deciding what crime occurred.”
This position has the advantage of being legally sensible and politically inconvenient.
The difference is important. Mail theft is a crime. Casting another person’s ballot is another matter entirely. An envelope disappearing from postal custody does not establish that anybody succeeded in casting a fraudulent vote.
But Americans are increasingly expected to believe that two statements can’t both be true.
Republicans must apparently choose between believing every missing envelope proves a stolen election and admitting that elections have safeguards.
Democrats must choose between conceding that mail theft is a security concern and pretending that electoral confidence can be restored by repeating the word “secure” until everyone gets tired.
Why Both Parties Read the Same Evidence Differently
A political science professor described this as the nation’s most successful bipartisan achievement.
“Neither party wants to ask what actually happened before explaining what it proves.”
The professor noted that Americans have developed an extraordinary ability to interpret identical events in completely opposite ways.
If a Republican candidate wins, ballot irregularities are minor administrative questions.
If a Democratic candidate wins, the same irregularities are also minor administrative questions.
The disagreement concerns who is permitted to say otherwise.
California officials have emphasized that each mail-in ballot is linked to an individual voter and that the system includes safeguards against multiple ballots being counted for the same person. The Brennan Center’s review of mail voting accuracy reaches a similar conclusion about ballot tracking and signature checks nationwide.
That is reassuring.
But election security involves more than preventing duplicate voting.
There is also the fairly traditional expectation that government-controlled election materials remain where government workers put them.
San Mateo County Supervisor David Canepa Calls for Stronger Mail Protections
San Mateo County Supervisor David Canepa has called for stronger mail protections and a thorough investigation, a reasonable demand that has the unfortunate political disadvantage of sounding practical.
Practicality seldom survives contact with American politics.
A congressional committee could probably spend six months investigating whether describing stolen ballots as stolen ballots constitutes a threat to democracy.
A second committee would investigate why the first committee failed to reach a bipartisan conclusion.
A third would demand additional funding.
Meanwhile, the ordinary voter has a much simpler question.
“Can I please vote without becoming part of somebody else’s campaign commercial?”
The voter doesn’t particularly care whether the thief has Republican sympathies, Democratic sympathies or merely an unhealthy interest in other people’s envelopes.
He wants his vote counted exactly once.
Preferably without appearing on cable television.
What the San Mateo Ballot Theft Reveals About American Election Debates
The San Mateo incident therefore reveals a deeper problem with American election debates. Voters who want to confirm their own ballot can use the California Secretary of State’s ballot-status tool, which is more than either party’s talking points will do for them.
The public wants transparency, competence and accountability.
Politicians want an argument they can win before the facts arrive.
And somewhere in California, a potentially missing envelope has achieved what billions of dollars in campaign advertising could not.
It has persuaded both parties that the other side is completely unreasonable.
Five Humorous Observations About Arguing Over Stolen Ballots
- Republicans say, “If it’s secure, how did it get stolen?” Democrats say, “It’s only a problem if the thief votes.” That’s two grown adults arguing over whether a burglar counts if he didn’t stay for dinner.
- My favorite part is the committee to investigate the committee. That’s the only machine in Washington that runs perfectly. No parts, no output, runs forever.
- Somebody out there stole a ballot to commit election fraud, then looked at the Secretary of State’s website and realized he needed a signature, a matching address and a cousin in the county clerk’s office. He gave up and went back to stealing catalytic converters.
- Both parties love a missing envelope. It’s the only thing in America they’ll stand together to complain about. It’s like watching two guys fight over a parking spot at a funeral.
- All I want is for my vote to count once. Not twice, not for a cable segment. Once. I’ve had relationships with lower standards than that, and they ended worse.
Editorial disclaimer: The underlying Daly City mail-theft investigation, election safeguards and voter replacement procedures are drawn from published reporting and official election information. The comedic conversations, proposed committees, political exchanges and colourful characters are satirical commentary, not verified testimony or actual government policy.