Shopping
Local resident Amanda Foster entered Target at 2:47 PM with a simple mission to purchase toilet paper and emerged at 5:52 PM with 23 items, none of which were toilet paper, and a credit card statement that made her question her life choices.
Kelly Oxford (staff writer)
ANYWHERE, USA — I have no memory of how this happened, Foster said while examining a decorative pineapple she apparently needed urgently. “I think I blacked out somewhere between the dollar section and home goods.” Security footage shows Foster entering with purpose and determination, then wandering the aisles in what experts describe as “The Target Trance,” a well-documented phenomenon affecting 94% of shoppers. Foster’s husband has reportedly hidden all credit cards and implemented a buddy system for future Target visits.