Shopping

Local resident Amanda Foster entered Target at 2:47 PM with a simple mission to purchase toilet paper and emerged at 5:52 PM with 23 items, none of which were toilet paper, and a credit card statement that made her question her life choices.

Kelly Oxford (staff writer)

ANYWHERE, USA — I have no memory of how this happened, Foster said while examining a decorative pineapple she apparently needed urgently. “I think I blacked out somewhere between the dollar section and home goods.” Security footage shows Foster entering with purpose and determination, then wandering the aisles in what experts describe as “The Target Trance,” a well-documented phenomenon affecting 94% of shoppers. Foster’s husband has reportedly hidden all credit cards and implemented a buddy system for future Target visits.

By Wendy Harmer

Wendy Harmer was born in Natchitoches, Louisiana, a town where storytelling carried as much weight as gumbo recipes and front-porch debates. She went on to study journalism at Louisiana State University, where she sharpened her voice into a blend of humor, insight, and fearless critique. Now based in Washington, D.C., Harmer has become a respected satirist whose essays and performances dissect political hypocrisy, media spin, and cultural contradictions with unmistakable wit. Her work has been featured at international forums on satire, cited in academic studies of political humor, and included in university curricula on democratic communication. Known for pairing empathy with biting irony, Harmer brings her Southern candor to national conversations. From Natchitoches to Capitol Hill, she proves that satire—equal parts scalpel and spotlight—remains essential for keeping power honest and audiences laughing.