ICE Launches Baseball Division, Mistakes Dodgers for Traveling Team of Tricksters

In an unprecedented move, ICE has launched a new internal division: the “Athletic Compliance Enforcement Team,” after what they call a “strategic failure to locate the Dodgers’ actual country of residence.”

The fiasco began when ICE agents attempted to serve routine paperwork at Dodger Stadium, only to discover a mariachi band warming up in the dugout and the real Dodgers reportedly “practicing bunt drills in Caracas.”

“We thought it was a themed night,” said Agent Linda Bickerson. “Turns out the entire infield had already filed for political asylum.”

Now, ICE officials are questioning whether the Dodgers have “any intent to participate in U.S. league play,” or if the team has “reclassified as a sovereign baseball microstate with ties to both Mexico and Venezuela.”

Meanwhile, fans continue buying tickets to an empty field, with one outfielder replaced by a Roomba and the third-base coach substituted by a hologram of Vin Scully whispering strategy.

“This was supposed to be America’s pastime,” said one confused ICE supervisor, “but the Dodgers turned it into a geo-political scavenger hunt.”

The MLB’s official stance is that the Dodgers remain committed to “competitive excellence and passport fluidity,” and their games will be streamed exclusively via encrypted satellite feed available only in consulates and cigar lounges.

ICE, undeterred, has vowed to stay vigilant:

“We already captured two mascots and a groundskeeper,” said one agent. “Now we’re just waiting for the catcher to apply for a travel visa.”